Bellum Incivile: Ryan Zinke Profits From His Position


Another text tentatively attributed to Caesar was discovered along with the fragments of the De Silvis and an appendix to De Bello Gallico. This is almost surely the lost Bellum Incivile.

3.2 Even though he had no understanding of physical science, Ryan Zinke kept telling everyone he was a geologist and oversaw the health of the seas, rivers, mountains, and forests. As soon as he was appointed by Manicula, he began to scheme and turn over in his mind how he could make the most money during his term. Having abandoned science, he denied that terrible storms had arisen because of global warming and that lakes had been polluted because of man with the result that he was calling the whole nation to death and devastation, thinking the earth should be destroyed rather than conserved. Manicula approved of this travesty for a rather long time.

3.2 Cum ignarus physicorum esset, R. Zincus omnibus se geologum esse semper praedicebat salutique marium et rivorum et montium et silvorum praeerat. Simul atque a Manicula praefectus est, quaerere et in animo agitare coepit quomodo maximam quattuor annis pecuniam facere posset. Scientia relicta miserandas tempestates caelo ob aestum orbis coortas lacosque ob homines corruptos adeo negabat ut rem publicam universam ad exitum et vastitatem vocaret, existimans tellus delendum quam conservandum. Manicula hunc malum diutius fovebat.

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