How Many Drinks?

Because Tuesday is the New Thursday….

Athenaeus, Deipnosophists Book 2 36a-d (=Adesp. com. fr. 101 and Eubulus fr. 93)

Mnêsitheos used to say, “the gods taught mortals
About wine because it is the greatest good
For those who use it correctly, and the opposite for those who don’t.
It gives sustenance to those who use it well,
Strength to their minds and their bodies.
It is also extremely useful for medicine,
Since it is mixed in with other drugs
And provides relief to those who have been wounded.
It also helps in daily gatherings it brings joy
To those who mix it and drink it wisely.
But to those who are excessive it brings outrage.
If you mix it evenly with water, it makes you crazy.
Unmixed, it paralyzes bodies.

“For this reason, Dionysus is called a doctor everywhere. The Pythia told some people to call Dionysus the “Healer”. Euboulos (fr. 93) has Dionysus saying this:

“I prescribe only three bowls of wine
For people of good sense. One is for health,
to drink first. The second is for
Sex and pleasure, and the third is for sleep—
Those who are wise drain that bowl and then
Go home. The fourth isn’t mine any more,
But it belongs to Hubris. And a fifth bowl leads to shouting;
A sixth bowl to street-parties; a seventh for brawls;
An eighth’s for getting arrested; the ninth makes dark bile.
And the tenth is madness to make you hurl […]
A lot of wine poured into a little bottle
Easily throws drunks down on their asses.”

<ὁ> Μνησίθεος δ᾿ ἔφη ǁ τὸν οἶνον τοὺς θεοὺς
θνητοῖς καταδεῖξαι τοῖς μὲν ὀρθῶς χρωμένοις
ἀγαθὸν μέγιστον, τοῖς δ᾿ ἀτάκτως τοὔμπαλιν.
τροφήν τε γὰρ δίδωσι τοῖς <εὖ> χρωμένοις
ἰσχύν τε ταῖς ψυχαῖσι καὶ τοῖς σώμασιν.
εἰς τὴν ἰατρικήν τε χρησιμώτατον·
καὶ τοῖς ποτοῖς γὰρ φαρμάκοις κεράννυται,
καὶ τοῖσιν ἑλκωθεῖσιν ὠφελίαν ἔχει.
ἐν ταῖς συνουσίαις τε ταῖς καθ᾿ ἡμέραν
τοῖς μὲν μέτριον πίνουσι καὶ κεκραμένον |
εὐθυμίαν, ἐὰν δ᾿ ὑπερβάλῃς, ὕβριν,
ἐὰν δ᾿ ἴσον ἴσῳ προσφέρῃ, μανίαν ποεῖ·
ἐὰν δ᾿ ἄκρατον, παράλυσιν τῶν σωμάτων.

διὸ καὶ καλεῖσθαι τὸν Διόνυσον πανταχοῦ ἰατρόν. ἡ δὲ Πυθία εἴρηκέ τισι Διόνυσον ὑγιάτην καλεῖν. Εὔβουλος δὲ ποιεῖ τὸν Διόνυσον λέγοντα·

τρεῖς γὰρ μόνους κρατῆρας ἐγκεραννύω
τοῖς εὖ φρονοῦσι· τὸν μὲν ὑγιείας ἕνα,
ὃν πρῶτον ἐκπίνουσι, τὸν δὲ δεύτερον |
ἔρωτος ἡδονῆς τε, τὸν τρίτον δ᾿ ὕπνου,
ὃν ἐκπιόντες οἱ σοφοὶ κεκλημένοι
οἴκαδε βαδίζουσ᾿. ὁ δὲ τέταρτος οὐκέτι ἡμέτερός ἐστ᾿, ἀλλ᾿
ὕβρεος· ὁ δὲ πέμπτος βοῆς·
ἕκτος δὲ κώμων· ἕβδομος δ᾿ ὑπωπίων·
<ὁ δ᾿> ὄγδοος κλητῆρος· ὁ δ᾿ ἔνατος χολῆς·
δέκατος δὲ μανίας, ὥστε καὶ βάλλειν ποεῖ
πολὺς γὰρ εἰς ἓν μικρὸν ἀγγεῖον χυθεὶς
ὑποσκελίζει ῥᾷστα τοὺς πεπωκότας.

An eternal question:

Also, this is a possibility. Look, three drinks! (true story: a friend once ‘invented’ a drinking game which entailed a shot every time the chorus repeated. Not. A. Good. Idea.)