Wine: A Family Planning Secret

Plutarch, Table-Talk 3.5 (652 D)

“Men who drink a lot of wine are rather sluggish at intercourse and they ejaculate semen not at all strong or good for fertilization; instead their attempts at sex with women are cursory and incomplete because of the weakness and frigidity of their seed.

Indeed, however much men suffer because of the cold occurs to them when they are drunk: tremors, heaviness, paleness, sudden jumps in the limbs, senseless speech, a lack of feeling in the joints and extremities. For most men, being drunk results in paralysis, whenever the wine totally expels and defeats the heat.”

οἱ δὲ πίνοντες πολὺν ἄκρατον ἀμβλύτεροι πρὸς τὰς συνουσίας εἰσὶν καὶ σπείρουσιν οὐδὲν εἰς γένεσιν ἰσχυρὸν οὐδὲ κεκρατημένον, ἀλλ᾿ ἐξίτηλοι καὶ ἀτελεῖς εἰσιν αἱ πρὸς τὰς γυναῖκας ὁμιλίαι αὐτῶν διὰ φαυλότητα καὶ κατάψυξιν τοῦ σπέρματος. καὶ μὴν ὅσα πάσχουσιν ἄνθρωποι ὑπὸ κρύους, πάντα συμβαίνει τοῖς μεθυσκομένοις, τρόμοι, βαρύτητες, ὠχριάσεις, σάλοι τοῦ περὶ τὰ γυῖα πνεύματος, ἀσάφεια γλώττης, ἔντασις τῶν Eπερὶ τοῖς ἄκροις νεύρων καὶ ἀπονάρκησις· τοῖς δὲ πλείστοις εἰς πάρεσιν αἱ μέθαι τελευτῶσιν, ὅταν ἐκπλήξῃ παντάπασιν καὶ κατασβέσῃ τὸ θερμὸν ὁ ἄκρατος.

Image result for medieval manuscript drunk man
Kongelige Bibliotek, Gl. kgl. S. 1633 4º, Folio 18r

“If Wine Could Tell A Story”

Plautus, Truculentus 829-833

“This is no good. You are blaming the silent who cannot speak.
If wine could tell a story it would defend itself.
Wine doesn’t control men—men usually control wine!
Well, that’s how it is when men are fit for anything—certain fools
When they drink a little or not at all remain fools by nature.”

non placet: in mutum culpam confers quit loqui.
nam uinum si fabulari possit se defenderet.
non uinum moderari, sed uiri uino solent,
qui quidem probi sunt; uerum qui improbust si quasi Bibit
siue adeo caret temeto, tamen ab ingenio improbust.

 

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“The Mother City of Problems”

Athenaeus, Deipnosophists  10.443d

“Pontianus said that wine is the mother city of all these problems and, because of it, drunkenness and madness and drunken violence happen. Dionysius the Bronze does not badly describe those who take part in wine excessively as “rowers of cups”: “and some carrying wine in the oarlocks for Dionysus, sympotic sailors and rowers of the cups/ …over this—for what is dear does not die.”

ὁ Ποντιανὸς ἔφη πάντων τούτων εἶναι τῶν δεινῶν μητρόπολιν τὸν οἶνον, δι᾿ ὃν καὶ τὰς μέθας καὶ τὰς μανίας, ἔτι δὲ καὶ τὰς παροινίας γίνεσθαι· οὗ τοὺς ἐκπαθῶς μεταλαμβάνοντας οὐ κακῶς ὁ Χαλκοῦς ἐπικαλούμενος Διονύσιος ἐν τοῖς ἐλεγείοις “κυλίκων ἐρέτας” ἔφη·

καί τινες οἶνον ἄγοντες ἐν εἰρεσίᾳ Διονύσου,συμποσίου ναῦται καὶ κυλίκων ἐρέται, < > περὶ τοῦδε· τὸ γὰρ φίλον οὐκἀπόλωλε.

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I Might Have Had Too Much Wine

Theognis, 503-510

“My head is weighed down by wine, Onomakritos, and wine wrestles
Me down, and I am no longer the master of my own decision,
The house is turning around. But, come on, let me try
To stand up and check that wine doesn’t also have my feet
Or the mind in my chest. I fear I will do something stupid
All armored like I am and earn serious shame.

Wine, when drunk in massive amounts, is evil. But if someone
Drinks it with understanding, it is no evil but a good.”

Οἰνοβαρέω κεφαλήν, ᾿Ονομάκριτε, καί με βιᾶται
οἶνος, ἀτὰρ γνώμης οὐκέτ’ ἐγὼ ταμίης
ἡμετέρης, τὸ δὲ δῶμα περιτρέχει. ἀλλ’ ἄγ’ ἀναστάς
πειρηθῶ, μή πως καὶ πόδας οἶνος ἔχει
καὶ νόον ἐν στήθεσσι· δέδοικα δὲ μή τι μάταιον
ἕρξω θωρηχθεὶς καὶ μέγ’ ὄνειδος ἔχω.
οἶνος πινόμενος πουλὺς κακόν· ἢν δέ τις αὐτόν
πίνηι ἐπισταμένως, οὐ κακόν, ἀλλ’ ἀγαθόν.

Image result for medieval manuscript drunk
“Monks in a Cellar”, Joseph Haier

“If Wine Could Tell A Story”

Plautus, Truculentus 829-833

“This is no good. You are blaming the silent who cannot speak.
If wine could tell a story it would defend itself.
Wine doesn’t control men—men usually control wine!
Well, that’s how it is when men are fit for anything—certain fools
When they drink a little or not at all remain fools by nature.”

non placet: in mutum culpam confers quit loqui.
nam uinum si fabulari possit se defenderet.
non uinum moderari, sed uiri uino solent,
qui quidem probi sunt; uerum qui improbust si quasi Bibit
siue adeo caret temeto, tamen ab ingenio improbust.

 

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