Goodbye Cato, Cicero and Sallust: Loving Literature until It Hurts

Aurelius to Fronto

“Am I supposed to study when you are in pain—especially when you are in pain because of me? Should I not voluntarily punish myself with every kind of discomfort? It is deserved, by Hercules. What other person caused the pain in your knee which you wrote increased last night, except for Centumcellae, except for me? What can I do when I cannot see you and I am tortured with worry? And, in addition, even if I could study, the courts prohibit it since, as those who know say, they consume whole days.

Nevertheless, I sent you today’s maxim and yesterday’s commonplace. We traveled on the road the whole day yesterday. Today it is difficult to do anything but the evening maxim. Do you, you say, sleep so long a night? I certainly can sleep, for I am big on sleep. But it is so cold in my room that I can barely reach my hand from my clothes!

In all honesty, what distracted my mind the most from studies especially was that, because I love literature too much, I was a burden for you at the Harbor, as events proved. So, then, goodbye to all the Catos, the Ciceros, and the Sallusts, provided that you are well and that I may see you healthy even without books.

Farewell, my greatest joy, my sweetest teacher.

Egone ut studeam quom tu doleas, praesertim quom mea causa doleas? Non me omnibus incommodis sponte ipse adflictem? Merito hercule. Quis enim tibi alius dolorem genus, quem scribis nocte proxima auctum, quis alius eum suscitavit, nisi Centumcellae, ne me dicam? Quid igitur faciam, qui nec te video et tanto angore | discrucior? Adde eo quod etiamsi libeat studere, iudicia prohibent, quae, ut dicunt qui sciunt, dies totos eximent. Misi tamen hodiernum γνώμην et nudiustertianum locum communem. Heri totum diem in itinere adtrivimus. Hodie difficile est ut praeter vespertinam γνώμην quicquam agi possit. Nocte, inquis, tam longa dormis? Et dormire quidem possum, nam sum multi somni; sed tantum frigoris est in cubiculo meo, ut manus vix exseri possit. Sed re vera illa res maxime mih-animum a studiis depulit, quod, dum nimium litteras amo, tibi incommodus apud Portum fui, ut res ostendit. Itaque valeant omnes Porcii et Tullii et Crispi, dum tu valeas, et te vel sine libris firmum tamen videam. Vale, praecipuum meum gaudium, magister dulcissime.


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