Next Time You Feel Self-Conscious at the Gym, Remember This

Diogenes Laertius, 6.92

“Zeno of Citium writes in his Anecdotes that after Kratês unthinkingly sewed a sheepskin to his cloak, he looked absurd and was laughed at when he exercised. He was in the habit of raising his hands and saying “Be bold, Kratês, for your eyes and your body. Someday you will see these men who laughing at you worn out by sickness and envying you, criticizing their own laziness.

He used to say that we should pursue philosophy until generals seemed to be donkey-drivers. He also claimed that those who lived with flatterers were as exposed as calves among wolves—For there is no one to protect these or those, but only those who contrive against them. When he perceived he was dying, he sang to himself, saying “you are going to Hades’ home, dear hunchback”. [For he was a hunchback because of old age.”

Ζήνων δ’ ὁ Κιτιεὺς ἐν ταῖς Χρείαις καὶ κῴδιον αὐτόν φησί ποτε προσράψαι τῷ τρίβωνι ἀνεπιστρεπτοῦντα. ἦν δὲ καὶ τὴν ὄψιν αἰσχρὸς καὶ γυμναζόμενος ἐγελᾶτο. εἰώθει δὲ λέγειν ἐπαίρων τὰς χεῖρας, “θάρρει, Κράτης, ὑπὲρ ὀφθαλμῶν καὶ τοῦ λοιποῦ σώματος· τούτους δ’ ὄψει τοὺς καταγελῶντας, ἤδη καὶ συνεσπασμένους ὑπὸ νόσου καί σε μακαρίζοντας, αὑτοὺς δὲ καταμεμφομένους ἐπὶ τῇ ἀργίᾳ.” ἔλεγε δὲ μέχρι τούτου δεῖν φιλοσοφεῖν, μέχρι ἂν δόξωσιν οἱ στρατηγοὶ εἶναι ὀνηλάται. ἐρήμους ἔλεγε τοὺς μετὰ κολάκων ὄντας ὥσπερ τοὺς μόσχους ἐπειδὰν μετὰ λύκων ὦσιν· οὔτε γὰρ ἐκείνοις τοὺς προσήκοντας οὔτε τούτοις συνεῖναι, ἀλλὰτοὺς ἐπιβουλεύοντας. συναισθανόμενος ὅτι ἀποθνήσκει, ἐπῇδε πρὸς ἑαυτὸν λέγων (PPF 10 B 9),

στείχεις δή, φίλε κυρτών,

[βαίνεις] εἰς ᾿Αίδαο δόμους [κυφὸς ὥρην διὰ γῆρας].


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2 thoughts on “Next Time You Feel Self-Conscious at the Gym, Remember This

  1. I thought this bit of sophistical circumlocution was rather clever!
    μέχρι ἂν δόξωσιν οἱ στρατηγοὶ εἶναι ὀνηλάται.

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