A Parody Account! Philosophy for Sale!

Lucian, Philosophies for Sale 14

Client: What is forever?

Heraclitus: A child playing, playing a board game, coming together, coming apart.

Client: What are human beings?

Heraclitus: Gods who die.

Client: But what are gods?

Heraclitus: Deathless humans.

Client: Are you speaking in riddles, friend, or just building puzzles. TBH, you’re not at all clear, like Apollo.

Heraclitus: I don’t care about you at all.

Client: Well, then no one reasonable will buy what you’re selling.

Heraclitus: Then I will order everyone–young and old alike–to weep, those who spend $7.99 a month and those who don’t.

Client: This kind of trouble is not far off from melancholy. I don’t think I’ll purchase either one.

[ΑΓ.] τί γὰρ ὁ αἰών ἐστιν;
[HΡ.] παῖς παίζων, πεσσεύων, <συμφερόμενος,>1 διαφερόμενος.
[ΑΓ.] τί δὲ ἄνθρωποι;
[HΡ.] θεοὶ θνητοί.
[ΑΓ.] τί δὲ θεοί;
[HΡ.] ἄνθρωποι ἀθάνατοι.
[ΑΓ.] αἰνίγματα λέγεις, ὦ οὗτος, ἢ γρίφους συντίθης; ἀτεχνῶς γὰρ ὥσπερ ὁ Λοξίας οὐδὲν ἀποσαφεῖς.
[HΡ.] οὐδὲν γάρ μοι μέλει ὑμέων.
[ΑΓ.] τοιγαροῦν οὐδὲ ὠνήσεταί σέ τις εὖ φρονῶν.
[HΡ.] ἐγὼ δὲ κέλομαι πᾶσιν ἡβηδὸν οἰμώζειν, τοῖσιν ὠνεομένοισι καὶ τοῖσιν οὐκ ὠνεομένοισι.
[ΑΓ.] τουτὶ τὸ κακὸν οὐ πόρρω μελαγχολίας ἐστιν. οὐδέτερον δὲ ὅμως αὐτῶν ἔγωγε ὠνήσομαι.

Elon musk in a ridiculous hero outfit raising his fists in the air, The image has been made into a meme reading "All for $8. YESSSSSS!!!"
I did not make this.

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