What Kinds of Stories Should I tell? Lies.

Aristophanes,  Wasps 1176-1189

Bdelokleon: “What stories do you tell then?

Philokleon: A lot really.
First how Lamia was farting when they captured her
Or then how Kardopion and his mother…

Bd. Don’t give me myths! But stories about human concerns
The kinds of things we talk about the most, especially at home.

Ph. Oh, I really know stories for home too,
Like this: ‘once there was a mouse and a weasel…”

Bd. Oh, what a childish fool! As Theogenes said
To the shit-collector while he was mocking these things.
You’re about to talk about mice and weasels to men?

Ph. What kinds of stories should I tell?

Bd. Ennobling ones
Like how you went on a delegation with Androkles and Kleisthenes

Ph. But I never went on any delegation anywhere.
Except Paros, I guess, but I only got two obols for it.”

τίνα δῆτ᾿ ἂν λέγοις;

πολλοὺς πάνυ.
πρῶτον μὲν ὡς ἡ Λάμι᾿ ἁλοῦσ᾿ ἐπέρδετο,
ἔπειτα δ᾿ ὡς ὁ Καρδοπίων τὴν μητέρα—

μὴ ᾿μοιγε μύθους, ἀλλὰ τῶν ἀνθρωπίνων,
οἵους λέγομεν μάλιστα, τοὺς κατ᾿ οἰκίαν.

ἐγᾦδα τοίνυν τῶν γε πάνυ κατ᾿ οἰκίαν
ἐκεῖνον ὡς “οὕτω ποτ᾿ ἦν μῦς καὶ γαλῆ—”

ὦ σκαιὲ κἀπαίδευτε—Θεογένης ἔφη
τῷ κοπρολόγῳ, καὶ ταῦτα λοιδορούμενος·
μῦς καὶ γαλᾶς μέλλεις λέγειν ἐν ἀνδράσιν;

ποίους τινὰς δὲ χρὴ λέγειν;

ὡς ξυνεθεώρεις Ἀνδροκλεῖ καὶ Κλεισθένει.

ἐγὼ δὲ τεθεώρηκα πώποτ᾿ οὐδαμοῖ,
πλὴν εἰς Πάρον, καὶ ταῦτα δύ᾿ ὀβολὼ φέρων.

Acrylic painting with rectangles in different colors
Beauty lies in geometry plus symmetry., By Jas Mand

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