NOTE: Some readers may find this epigram of Martial a bit more offensive than our usual posts. CAVE LECTOR!
“Zoilus, why do you ruin the tub by washing your asshole in it? If you want to make the water really filthy, dunk your head in there!”
Zoile, quid solium subluto podice perdis?
spurcius ut fiat, Zoile, merge caput.
I can always turn to Martial for some short remark to make me laugh!
Eheu. Martial podices amat.
I have to go to Aristophanes to counter this:
ἢν δ’ εὐρύπρωκτος ᾖ, τί πείσεται κακόν; (Clouds, 1085)
Plurimi poetarum Latinorum podices amabant! Catullus enim, poeta doctissimus lepidissimusque, quondam scripsit, de comitibus Furio et Aurelio, “Pedicabo ego vos…” Equidem puto viros Romanos (quod omnes viri solent) mentulas saepissime exercere desiderasse.
Bene, bene, bene. Catullus vero de mentulis scripsit!
mea latina lingua non bona est.
Demitte curam! Omnes enim mallent Homerum quam Vergilium legere.
Vero. omnes boni mentis..
(wait, Latin has a genitive of description/characteristic, right?)
Immo, omnes bonAE mentis.
!!!