“The gods are always screwing us.”
ἀεί ποθ᾿ ἡμῖν ἐγκιλικίζουσ᾿ οἱ θεοί
The verb ἐγκιλικίζουσ᾿ means “to be mean or treacherous like the Cilicians”. Obviously, the reference is lost on a modern audience. I went colloquial. I thought that “the gods are always messing with us” might be less abrasive, but “screwing” has a nice sense of “meanness” and the double entendre… Any other suggestions?