Don’t Be Half-Assed This Weekend: Three Donkey Proverbs from Photius

While perusing some comic fragments and testimonia I came upon one which attributed a strange proverb to Cratinus.  I had to investigate the source, the work of the lexicographer Photius.  What I found was exhilarating: a group of donkey proverbs.

Here is a short excerpt (yes, there’s more):

“A Donkey’s death”: A saying for those who tell stories about strange things

“A Tipping Donkey”: When a donkey leans in suddenly, hens are frightened and bust out of their pen. The owner of the birds brings a suit against the owner of the donkey. This is where the proverb comes from.

“Donkey Shearings”: A saying applied by Attic writers to endless and impossible things. These following sayings are similar: “washing a brick”; “plucking a wineskin”; “decorating a pot” and “fumigating an outhouse”. Aristarchus says that this saying developed because Cratinus imagined a man braiding a rope in Hades and a donkey eating it as he did so.”

῎Ονου θάνατος: ἐπὶ τῶν ἀλλόκοτα διηγουμένων

῎Ονου παρακύψεως: ὄνου παρακύψαντος, ὄρνιθες πτοηθεῖσαι ἱστὸν ἀνέρρηξαν· ὁ δὲ δεσπότης τοῦ ἱστοῦ τοῦ ὄνου δεσπότηι ἐνεκάλεσεν· ὅθεν ἡ παροιμία.

῎Ονου πόκαι: ἐπὶ τῶν ἀνηνύτων καὶ τῶν μὴ ὄντων λέγεται ἡ παροιμία ὑπὸ τῶν ᾿Αττικῶν· ὥσπερ αἱ τοιαῦται· πλίνθον πλύνειν· ἀσκὸν τίλλειν· χύτραν ποικίλλειν· εἰς κοπρῶνα θυμιᾶν· ᾿Αρίσταρχος δὲ διὰ τὸ Κρατῖνον ὑποθέσθαι ἐν Αἵδου σχοινίον πλέκοντα· ὄνον δὲ τὸ πλεκόμενον ἀπεσθίοντα·

Image result for Hindu goddess on a donkey

Wine Tours and Drinking Fragments

Today we have arranged for a full-day of babysitting for the children. We will be touring texas vineyards and honoring Autumn by harvesting the fruit of the vine. Ok, drinking too much.

The only catch? The tour is with a large group of members of my wife’s profession (she’s a dentist).

So I have collected some lines to carry with me through the day.

Sophocles, Fr. 735 (Athenaeus, Deipnosophists 10, 428 A)

“Drinking under compulsion is an evil equal to thirst”

τὸ πρὸς βίαν / πίνειν ἴσον πέφυκε τῷ διψῆν κακόν

Theognis 627-628

“It is shameful when a man is drunk among the sober
and it is shameful if man remains sober among drunks.”

Αἰσχρόν τοι μεθύοντα παρ’ ἀνδράσι νήφοσιν εἶναι,
αἰσχρὸν δ’ εἰ νήφων πὰρ μεθύουσι μένει

Carm. Conv. 17

“I wish I could turn into an ivory lyre
And that beautiful children would carry me to the Dionysian dance.”

εἴθε λύρα καλὴ γενοίμην ἐλεφαντίνη
καί με καλοὶ παῖδες φέροιεν Διονύσιον ἐς χορόν.

Carm. Conv. 6

“What kind of man each person is
I wish I could know by opening his chest and then
Looking at his mind and after closing it again
To recognize a dear friend by his guileless thought”

εἴθ’ ἐξῆν ὁποῖός τις ἦν ἕκαστος
τὸ στῆθος διελόντ’, ἔπειτα τὸν νοῦν
ἐσιδόντα, κλείσαντα πάλιν,
ἄνδρα φίλον νομίζειν ἀδόλωι φρενί.

Anonymous Lyrics (Plutarch, Table Talk 1)

“I hate the drinking buddy who doesn’t forget.”

μισέω μνάμονα συμπόταν

Cratinus, fr. 199

“Wine is like a swift horse for a charming poet; you won’t produce anything clever if you’re drinking water.”

οἶνός τοι χαρίεντι πέλει ταχὺς ἵππος ἀοιδῷ,
ὕδωρ δὲ πίνων οὐδὲν ἂν τέκοι σοφόν.

Carm. Conv. 890

“The best thing for a mortal man is to be healthy
And second, to be pretty.
Third, is to be wealthy without deceit.
And, fourth, is to be young with friends.”

ὑγιαίνειν μὲν ἄριστον ἀνδρὶ θνητῷ,
δεύτερον δὲ φυὰν καλὸν γενέσθαι,
τὸ δὲ τρίτον πλουτεῖν ἀδόλως,
τέταρτον δὲ ἡβᾶν μετὰ τῶν φίλων.

Xenophon, Oeconomicus 11.3-12.1

“First, Socrates, you can’t make lushes pay attention: drinking makes them heedless of everything that needs doing.”

Πρῶτον μέν, ἔφη, ὦ Σώκρατες, τοὺς οἴνου ἀκρατεῖς οὐκ ἂν δύναιο ἐπιμελεῖς ποιῆσαι· τὸ γὰρ μεθύειν λήθην ἐμποιεῖ πάντων τῶν πράττειν δεομένων.

Don’t Be Half-Assed This Weekend: Three Donkey Proverbs from Photius

While perusing some comic fragments and testimonia I came upon one which attributed a strange proverb to Cratinus.  I had to investigate at the source, the work of the lexicographer Photius.  What I found was exhilarating: a group of donkey proverbs.

Here is a short excerpt (yes, there’s more):

“A Donkey’s death”: A saying for those who tell stories about strange things

“A Tipping Donkey”: When a donkey leans in suddenly, hens are frightened and bust out of their pen. The owner of the birds brings a suit against the owner of the donkey. This is where the proverb comes from.

“Donkey Shearings”: A saying applied by Attic writers to endless and impossible things. These following sayings are similar: “washing a brick”; “plucking a wineskin”; “decorating a pot” and “fumigating an outhouse”. Aristarchus says that this saying developed because Cratinus imagined a man braiding a rope in Hades and a donkey eating it as he did so.”

῎Ονου θάνατος: ἐπὶ τῶν ἀλλόκοτα διηγουμένων

῎Ονου παρακύψεως: ὄνου παρακύψαντος, ὄρνιθες πτοηθεῖσαι ἱστὸν ἀνέρρηξαν· ὁ δὲ δεσπότης τοῦ ἱστοῦ τοῦ ὄνου δεσπότηι ἐνεκάλεσεν· ὅθεν ἡ παροιμία.

῎Ονου πόκαι: ἐπὶ τῶν ἀνηνύτων καὶ τῶν μὴ ὄντων λέγεται ἡ παροιμία ὑπὸ τῶν ᾿Αττικῶν· ὥσπερ αἱ τοιαῦται· πλίνθον πλύνειν· ἀσκὸν τίλλειν· χύτραν ποικίλλειν· εἰς κοπρῶνα θυμιᾶν· ᾿Αρίσταρχος δὲ διὰ τὸ Κρατῖνον ὑποθέσθαι ἐν Αἵδου σχοινίον πλέκοντα· ὄνον δὲ τὸ πλεκόμενον ἀπεσθίοντα·

Drinking with the Ancients: Homer, Anacreon, Theognis and Friends on Imbibing

Just in time for the weekend: drinking advice from the ancient Theognisworld

Horace, Epistulae 1.19.6

“Homer is said to have been a drunkard because of his praise of wine”

laudibus arguitur vini vinosus Homerus

I don’t know that Horace didn’t have the following passage in mind:

Homer, Odyssey 14.464-6

“Wicked wine–which makes even a prudent man sing aloud, giggle, dance and speak some word better left unsaid–compels me.”

 …οἶνος γὰρ ἀνώγει
ἠλεός, ὅς τ᾽ ἐφέηκε πολύφρονά περ μάλ᾽ ἀεῖσαι
καί θ᾽ ἁπαλὸν γελάσαι, καί τ᾽ ὀρχήσασθαι ἀνῆκε,
καί τι ἔπος προέηκεν  περ τ᾽ ἄρρητον ἄμεινον.

So Odysseus in disguise speaks to Eumaios and his fellow swine-herds as they drink during an evening rainstorm. Here’s the full text.

But some ancient authors saw important connections between drinking and inspiration:

Cratinus, fr. 199

“Wine is like a swift horse for a charming poet; you won’t produce anything clever if you’re drinking water.”

οἶνός τοι χαρίεντι πέλει ταχὺς ἵππος ἀοιδῷ,
ὕδωρ δὲ πίνων οὐδὲν ἂν τέκοι σοφόν.

For orators or politicians, not drinking wine might have been an advantage, as Philostratus implies:

Lives of the Sophists, 507-8

“The conflict between Aeschines and Demosthenes began in part because of the fact that the one acted on behalf of the King and the other acted for another—as it seems to me. But there was also a difference of character: and hatred always seems to develop from characters that are strongly opposed to one another without any other cause. And the two were opposed for these reasons. Aeschines was a man who liked to drink, but he was sweet and had kind manners and he had the general charm of Dionysus; indeed, when he was in his youth he played parts for the tragic actors. But Demosthenes had a downcast face, a heavy brow, and he drank water: and for this reason he was assumed a ill-tempered and bad-mannered man….”

διαφορᾶς δ’ ἦρξεν Αἰσχίνῃ καὶ Δημοσθένει καὶ αὐτὸ μὲν τὸ ἄλλον ἄλλῳ βασιλεῖ πολιτεύειν, ὡς δ’ ἐμοὶ φαίνεται, τὸ ἐναντίως ἔχειν καὶ τῶν ἠθῶν, ἐξ ἠθῶν γὰρ ἀλλήλοις ἀντιξόων φύεται μῖσος αἰτίαν οὐκ ἔχον. ἀντιξόω δ’ ἤστην καὶ διὰ τάδε• ὁ μὲν Αἰσχίνης φιλοπότης τε ἐδόκει καὶ ἡδὺς καὶ ἀνειμένος καὶ πᾶν τὸ ἐπίχαρι ἐκ Διονύσου ᾑρηκώς, καὶ γὰρ δὴ καὶ τοῖς βαρυστόνοις ὑποκριταῖς τὸν ἐν μειρακίῳ χρόνον ὑπετραγῴδησεν, ὁ δ’ αὖ συννενοφώς τε ἐφαίνετο καὶ βαρὺς τὴν ὀφρὺν καὶ ὕδωρ πίνων, ὅθεν [ἐν] δυσκόλοις τε καὶ δυστρόποις ἐνεγράφετο…

Theognis of Megara had some things to say about drinking:

Theognis 989-990

“Drink whenever they drink but let no man discover you’re burdened
whenever you’re sick in the heart.”

Πῖν’ ὁπόταν πίνωσιν· ὅταν δέ τι θυμὸν ἀσηθῆις,
μηδεὶς ἀνθρώπων γνῶι σε βαρυνόμενον.

Perhaps Theognis was concerned about a talkative friend:

Anonymous Lyrics (Plutarch, Table-Talk 1)

“I hate the drinking buddy who doesn’t forget.”

μισέω μνάμονα συμπόταν

One might be better served going out with a dedicated drinker like Anacreon:

Anacreon Fr. 356 a (Athenaeus, Deipnosophists 10.427ab)

“Bring me a bowl so I can  drink straight without breathing”

ἄγε δὴ φέρ᾿ ἡμῖν ὦ παῖ
κελέβην, ὅκως ἄμυστιν

προπίω…

But he might force others to practice what he thinks is right for himself.  A tragedian we know would object:

Sophocles, Fr. 735 (Athenaeus, Deipnosophists 10, 428 A)

“Drinking under compulsion is an evil equal to thirst”

τὸ πρὸς βίαν / πίνειν ἴσον πέφυκε τῷ διψῆν κακόν

But perhaps we should listen to Theognis and take some good advice:

Theognis 627-628

“It is shameful when a man is drunk among the sober
and it is shameful if man remains sober among drunks.”

Αἰσχρόν τοι μεθύοντα παρ’ ἀνδράσι νήφοσιν εἶναι,
αἰσχρὸν δ’ εἰ νήφων πὰρ μεθύουσι μένει

I guess we should always heed the old adage that “like attracts like”.

Just in case you’re still trying to work things out, lots of Greeks had things to say about wine and drinking:

Panyassis fr. 12 (19 W; Stobaeus 3.18.21)

“A mortal who does not draw wine to his heart’s delight does not seem to me to be alive or to live the life of an enduring man—he’s a moron.”

οὐ γάρ μοι ζώειν γε δοκεῖ βροτὸς οὐδὲ βιῶναι
ἀνθρώποιο βίον ταλασίφρονος, ὅστις ἀπ’ οἴνου
θυμὸν ἐρητύσας πίνει ποτόν, ἄλλ’ ἐνεόφρων.

Panyassis fr. 12 (19 W)

“Mortals have a fine gift equal to fire: wine, a defense against evil and companion of any song.”

οἶνος γὰρ πυρὶ ἶσον ἐπιχθονίοισιν ὄνειαρ
ἐσθλόν, ἀλεξίκακον, πάσης συνοπηδὸν ἀοιδῆς.

Cypria, Fragment 17 (18W) (Athenaeus, Deipnosophists)

“Menelaus, the best thing the gods made to scatter the cares of mortal men is wine”

οἶνόν τοι, Μενέλαε, θεοὶ ποίησαν ἄριστον
θνητοῖς ἀνθρώποισιν ἀποσκεδάσαι μελεδῶνας.

Alcaeus 347. 3-4 (Athenaeus, Deipnosophists x 430c-d)

“Wine, the thing Semele and Zeus’ son gave to men
an amnesia from their troubles.”

οἶνον γὰρ Σεμέλας καὶ Δίος υἶος λαθικάδεον
ἀνθρώποισιν ἔδωκ’.

Alcaeus, fragment 335

“Bucchus, the best of all medicine for those who have wine is getting drunk”

ὦ Βύκχι, φαρμάκων δ’ ἄριστον
οἶνον ἐνεικαμένοις μεθύσθην

And when you want to impress with a toast, this one works well:

Drinking Songs, 890 ( schol. Plato Gorg. 451e)

“The best thing for a mortal man is to be healthy
And second, to be pretty.
Third, is to be wealthy without deceit.
And fourth is to be young with friends.”

ὑγιαίνειν μὲν ἄριστον ἀνδρὶ θνητῶ̣

δεύτερον δὲ καλὸμ φυὰν γενέσθαι

τὸ τρίτον δὲ πλουτεῖν ἀδόλως

καὶ τέταρτον ἡβᾶν μετὰ τῶν φίλων

And, finally, some more instructive drinking songs:

Carm. Conv. 17

“I wish I could turn into an ivory lyre
And that beautiful children would carry me to the Dionysian dance.”

εἴθε λύρα καλὴ γενοίμην ἐλεφαντίνη
καί με καλοὶ παῖδες φέροιεν Διονύσιον ἐς χορόν.

Carm. Conv. 6

“What kind of man each person is
I wish I could know by opening his chest and then
Looking at his mind and after closing it again
To recognize a dear friend by his guileless thought”

εἴθ’ ἐξῆν ὁποῖός τις ἦν ἕκαστος
τὸ στῆθος διελόντ’, ἔπειτα τὸν νοῦν
ἐσιδόντα, κλείσαντα πάλιν,
ἄνδρα φίλον νομίζειν ἀδόλωι φρενί.

The Vanquished Boeotians: Little Piggies or Stubborn Trees?

The Athenians defeated the Boeotians in 507 BCE after over a decade of an alliance with the Plataeans (also Boeotians). This was the beginning of over a century of trouble between the two cities, marked by Theban submission to Persia in 479 BCE. The Athenians set up an inscription to mark their victory:

IG I3 501 Dedicatory Inscription on the Acropolis after the defeat of the Boiotians and Chalkidians: cf. Herodotus 5.77 for a quotation of it:

“Sons of the Athenians with iron bonds extinguished
Their pride with their deeds in war
When they subdued the Boiotian and Chalkidian peoples
And then dedicated these horses as a tithe for Pallas Athena.”

[δεσμοῖ ἐν ἀχνύεντι(?) σιδερέοι ἔσβεσαν ῾ύβ]ριν
παῖδε[ς ᾿Αθεναίον ἔργμασιν ἐμ πολέμο]
[ἔθνεα Βοιοτôν καὶ Χαλκιδέον δαμάσαντες]
/ τôν Jίππος δ̣[εκάτεν Παλλάδι τάσδ’ ἔθεσαν

For the rest of the century, they had many unkind things to say about their neighbors to the north.

Aristotle, Rhetoric 1407a

“And Perikles compared the Samians to children because, while they accept the vote, they cry about it. The Boiotians, he claimed, were most like oak trees: since oak trees knock against each other and break and the Boiotians were always fighting one another.”

καὶ ἡ Περικλέους εἰς Σαμίους, ἐοικέναι αὐτοὺς τοῖς παιδίοις ἃ τὸν ψωμὸν δέχεται μέν, κλαίοντα δέ, καὶ εἰς Βοιωτούς, ὅτι ὅμοιοι τοῖς πρίνοις· τούς τε γὰρ πρίνους ὑφ’ αὑτῶν κατακόπτεσθαι, καὶ τοὺς Βοιωτοὺς πρὸς ἀλλήλους μαχομένους.

 

And a scholiast to Pindar reports why the epinician poet was worried about being called a pig (Schol. In Pind. Ol. 6.90):

“If we avoid the insult ‘Boiotian pig”: He uses this because the Boiotians were called ‘pigs’ due to their ancient rustic and vulgar nature. Pindar also refers to this in his dithryambs when he writes “there was a time when the Boiotian tribe was called “piggy” “. Kratinos, the comedian adds, These men are “Swine-men”….”

“εἰ φεύγομεν, Βοιωτίαν ὗν”: ὅτι διὰ τὴν ἀγροικίαν καὶ τὴν ἀναγωγίαν τὸ παλαιὸν οἱ Βοιωτοὶ ὗες ἐκαλοῦντο· καθάπερ καὶ αὐτὸς ἐν τοῖς διθυράμβοις (fr. 83)
ἦν ὅτε σύας τὸ Βοιώτιον ἔθνος ἔλεγον. καὶ Κρατῖνος (fr. 310 K.)· οὗτοι δ’ εἰσὶν Συοβοιωτοὶ, κρουπεζοφόρον γένος ἀνδρῶν.

Cratinus, fr. 335

 

 

“Dear gods! Her skin was so soft and smooth!

I played with her breast, and she didn’t complain one bit.”

 

ὡς δὲ μαλακὸν καὶ τέρεν τὸ χρωτίδον, ὦ θεοί

καὶ γὰρ ἐβλίμαζον αὐτήν, ἡδ᾿ ἐφρόντιζ᾿ οὐδὲ ἕν

 

Some old comedy for the new week…

 

(Cratinus? Yes, that one

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