Lacedaemon? More Like LaceDUMBon!

Aelian, Historia Varia 3.50:

The Spartans kept themselves wholly ignorant of the arts, for they cared about exercise and arms. If they ever needed something derived from the Muses, either because they were sick or ailing in the mind or suffering some other public problem, they would send for foreigners – either doctors, or exorcists in accordance with an oracle. They sent for Terpander, and Thales, and Tyrtaeus, and Nymphaeus of Cydonia, and Alcman. Thucydides agrees that they had no enthusiasm for education in the part of his book where he talks about Brasidas, and says that he was unable to speak, just like a Spartan.

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Λακεδαιμόνιοι μουσικῆς ἀπείρως εἶχον· ἔμελε γὰρ αὐτοῖς γυμνασίων καὶ ὅπλων. εἰ δέ ποτε ἐδεήθησαν τῆς ἐκ Μουσῶν ἐπικουρίας ἢ νοσήσαντες ἢ παραφρονήσαντες ἢ ἄλλο τι τοιοῦτον δημοσίᾳ παθόντες, μετεπέμποντο ξένους ἄνδρας οἷον ἰατροὺς ἢ καθαρτὰς κατὰ πυθόχρηστον. μετεπέμψαντό γε μὴν Τέρπανδρον καὶ Θάλητα καὶ Τυρταῖον καὶ τὸν Κυδωνιάτην Νυμφαῖον καὶ ᾿Αλκμᾶνα. καὶ Θουκυδίδης δὲ ὁμολογεῖ ὅτι μὴ ἐσπουδασμένως περὶ παιδείαν εἶχον, ἐν οἷς λέγει περὶ Βρασίδου. λέγει γοῦν ὅτι ἦν οὐ δὲ ἀδύνατος εἰπεῖν, ὡς Λακεδαιμόνιος.

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