F**k Heroic Poetry!

Ovid, Amores 2.1.29-38:

“What good would singing about swift Achilles do for me? What would one or the other of the sons of Atreus do for me, or what could I get from the one who wasted so many years in wandering the world as he did in war, or from lamentable Hector dragged by Haemonian horses? But the often praised face of the delicate girl came to the poet, worth a song itself. A great reward is given here! Farewell, famous names of heroes! Your grace is not fit for me. Girls, offer your beautiful faces to me songs, which purple coated Amor dictates to me!”

Quid mihi profuerit velox cantatus Achilles?
quid pro me Atrides alter et alter agent,
quique tot errando, quot bello, perdidit annos,
raptus et Haemoniis flebilis Hector equis?
at facies tenerae laudata saepe puellae,
ad vatem, pretium carminis, ipsa venit.
magna datur merces! heroum clara valete
nomina; non apta est gratia vestra mihi!
ad mea formosos vultus adhibete, puellae,
carmina, purpureus quae mihi dictat Amor!

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