The Cunning Cunnilinguist (Love Week)

Ausonius, Epigrams 120

“When Castor wanted to slobber on the medial member of many a man, but couldn’t have a mob at his house, that cocksucker figured out a way that he could avoid wasting any genitalia: he just gave his wife a lick instead.”

Lambere cum vellet mediorum membra virorum

Castor, nec posset vulgus habere domi,

Reperit, ut nullum fellator perderet inguen:

Uxoris coepit lingere membra suae.

Epigrams, 126:

“Lilly, Irene, Cassie and Karl; if you write out these names, and take the first letter of each, you can form the word which describes what you do, master Eunus! But I can’t mention something so scandalous in Latin.”

Λαὶς, Ἔρως et Ἴτυς Χείρων, et Ἔρως  Ἴτυς alter,

Nomina si scribis, prima elementa adime,

Ut facias verbum, quod facis, Eune magister.

Dicere me Latium non decet opprobrium.

 

Epigrams, 127:

“Eunus, when you’re licking your pregnant wife’s rotten vagina, you’re hurrying to give your unborn children some tongue.”

Eune, quod uxoris gravidae putria inguina lambis,

festinas glossas non natis tradere natis.

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