Smutty Saturday: A Real Chatterbox (OBSCENE CONTENT)

Martial, 7.18

“Though you have a face about which no woman could complain, and no stray mark mars your body, you still wonder why it is that scarcely a fucker can be found who desires you, or asks you for your favor again? Galla, you have a fault which is not altogether trifling. Whenever I came to you and we were moved about with mingling groins, you were silent – but your vagina wasn’t. Oh, would that the gods would make you speak and it stay silent! I am offended by your vagina’s loquacity. I would rather give you a good sodomizing. Symmachus came up with this useful notion, and the thing prompts laughter at the same time. Who can laugh at the little pops of a garrulous pussy? When it makes it sound, whose penis does not fall with his desire? At least say something, and say something against that shouting pussy of yours; if you’re really so silent, at least learn to talk from down there.”

Cum tibi sit facies de qua nec femina possit
dicere, cum corpus nulla litura notet,
cur te tam rarus cupiat repetatque fututor
miraris? Vitium est non leue, Galla, tibi.
Accessi quotiens ad opus mixtisque mouemur 5
inguinibus, cunnus non tacet, ipsa taces.
di facerent ut tu loquereris et ille taceret:
offendor cunni garrulitate tui.
Pedere te mallem: namque hoc nec inutile dicit
Symmachus et risum res mouet ista simul. 10
Quis ridere potest fatui poppysmata cunni?
Cum sonat hic, cui non mentula mensque cadit?
Dic aliquid saltem clamosoque obstrepe cunno
et, si adeo muta es, disce uel inde loqui.

4 thoughts on “Smutty Saturday: A Real Chatterbox (OBSCENE CONTENT)

    1. While “macho” is hardly the adjective I would associate with pedantic raillery against Latin translations on the internet, I would be happy to entertain your complaints had you actually noted which parts of the translation you find so inaccurate.

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