Scholion on Theocritus I (Note on a Scandal)

“Some say that Pan is the son of Penelope and all of the suitors together, and it is on this account that he is called Pan (Everything).”

τὸν Πᾶνα οἱ μέν φασιν υἱὸν Πηνελόπης καὶ πάντων τῶν μνηστήρων καὶ διὰ τοῦτο λέγεσθαι καὶ Πᾶνα•

NOTE: An attempt to translate this statement is bound to fall flat, even more so than translations of the name with which Odysseus deceives Polyphemus. The pun is based on the fact that in Greek, ‘to pan’ means something like all or everything in the aggregate. The etymology offered here is completely absurd and false, but amusing nonetheless!

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