The Need for a Serious Friend or a Committed Enemy

Plutarch, Progress in Virtue 81f-82b

“When they need healing, people who have tooth pain or a stubbed toe go to doctors while those who have a fever ask them to come to their homes and help them. But people who fall into melancholy or a frenzy or hallucinations often cannot handle doctors visiting them and either urge them to leave or chase them off because they do not perceive that they are sick thanks to the severity of their sickness.

This is true as well of those who seriously fuck up. The people who cannot be cured are those who behave hatefully and cruelly and turn mean to those who try to correct them or help them. Those who endure and even welcome help do better. It is no small sign of progress when someone who is screwing up listens to those who try to correct them, to explain what the problem is, to reveal weakness and not to take pleasure in hiding mistakes or in them not being known but to admit them and the need to be held and advised by someone else. 

That’s why Diogenes says somewhere that for the sake of safety a person should be concerned about finding either a serious friend or a committed enemy, to escape wickedness either through direct critique or kind assistance.”

Τῶν τοίνυν δεομένων ἰατρείας οἱ μὲν ὀδόντα πονοῦντες ἢ δακτυλον αὐτόθεν βαδίζουσι παρὰ τοὺς θεραπεύοντας, οἱ δὲ πυρέττοντες οἴκαδε καλοῦσι καὶ δέονται βοηθεῖν, οἱ δ᾿ εἰς μελαγχολίαν ἢ φρενῖτιν ἢ παρακοπὴν ἥκοντες οὐδὲ φοιτῶντας ἐνιαχοῦ πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἀνέχονται, ἀλλ᾿ ἐξελαύνουσιν ἢ φεύγουσιν, μηδ᾿ ὅτι νοσοῦσιν ὑπὸ τοῦ σφόδρα νοσεῖν αἰσθανόμενοι. οὕτω δὴ καὶ τῶν ἁμαρτανόντων ἀνήκεστοι μέν εἰσιν οἱ πρὸς τοὺς ἐλέγχοντας καὶ νουθετοῦντας ἐχθρῶς καὶ ἀγρίως διατιθέμενοι καὶ χαλεπαίνοντες· οἱ δ᾿ ὑπομένοντες καὶ προσιέμενοι πραότερον ἔχουσι. τὸ δ᾿ ἑαυτὸν ἁμαρτάνοντα παρέχειν τοῖς ἐλέγχουσι καὶ τὸ πάθος λέγειν καὶ τὴν μοχθηρίαν ἀποκαλύπτειν καὶ μὴ χαίρειν λανθάνοντα μηδ᾿ ἀγαπᾶν ἀγνοούμενον ἀλλ᾿ ὁμολογεῖν καὶ δεῖσθαι τοῦ ἁπτομένου καὶ νουθετοῦντος οὐ φαῦλον ἂν εἴη προκοπῆς σημεῖον. ὥς που Διογένης ἔλεγε τῷ σωτηρίας δεομένῳ ζητεῖν προσήκειν ἢ φίλον σπουδαῖον ἢ διάπυρον ἐχθρόν, ὅπως ἐλεγχόμενος ἢ θεραπευόμενος ἐκφεύγοι τὴν κακίαν. 

Joseph Stevens, “Enemies” 1854

Life Without a Nemesis

Seneca, de providentia 1.4.3

“I congratulate you not so much as a brave person but as if you had won the consulship or a praetorship: you have leveled up in honor! Similarly I would say to a good person if no misfortune had given them the chance to demonstrate their spirit’s strength, “I think you’re unlucky because you have never been unlucky. You have made it through life without a nemesis. No one will know what you’re capable of, not even you!”

For someone to really know themselves, they need to be tested. No one discovers what they can do without trying! This is why some people have intentionally given themselves to misfortune and have searched for some way to make their true value shine bright when it might instead pass into the unknown.

Great men, I say, often delight in facing trouble, as brave soldiers do when they face war. I once heard a gladiator named Triumphus in the reign of Tiberius Caesar complaining about how few competitions there were: “How beautiful an age has slipped away!”

Non gratulor tamquam viro forti, sed tanquam consulatum praeturamve adepto; honore auctus es. Item dicere et bono viro possum, si illi nullam occasionem difficilior casus dedit in qua una1 vim animi sui ostenderet: “Miserum te iudico, quod numquam fuisti miser. Transisti sine adversario vitam; nemo sciet quid potueris, ne tu quidem ipse.” Opus est enim ad notitiam sui experimento; quid quisque posset nisi temptando non didicit. Itaque quidam ipsi ultro se cessantibus malis obtulerunt et virtuti iturae in obscurum occasionem per quam 4enitesceret quaesierunt. Gaudent, inquam, magni viri aliquando rebus adversis, non aliter quam fortes milites bello. Triumphum ego murmillonem sub Tib. Caesare de raritate munerum audivi querentem: “Quam bella,” inquit, “aetas perit!”

Gnomologium Vaticanum, 518

“Sophokles the tragic poet, after he heard that Euripides died in Macedonia, said “The whetstone of my poetry is gone.”

Σοφοκλῆς, ὁ τῶν τραγῳδιῶν ποιητής, ἀκούσας Εὐριπίδην ἐν Μακεδονίᾳ τεθνηκέναι εἶπεν· „ἀπώλετο ἡ τῶν ἐμῶν ποιημάτων ἀκόνη.”

The Need for a Serious Friend or a Committed Enemy

Plutarch, Progress in Virtue 81f-82b

“When they need healing, people who have tooth pain or a stubbed toe go to doctors while those who have a fever ask them to come to their homes and help them. But people who fall into melancholy or a frenzy or hallucinations often cannot handle doctors visiting them and either urge them to leave or chase them off because they do not perceive that they are sick thanks to the severity of their sickness.

This is true as well of those who seriously fuck up. The people who cannot be cured are those who behave hatefully and cruelly and turn mean to those who try to correct them or help them. Those who endure and even welcome help do better. It is no small sign of progress when someone who is screwing up listens to those who try to correct them, to explain what the problem is, to reveal weakness and not to take pleasure in hiding mistakes or in them not being known but to admit them and the need to be held and advised by someone else. 

That’s why Diogenes says somewhere that for the sake of safety a person should be concerned about finding either a serious friend or a committed enemy, to escape wickedness either through direct critique or kind assistance.”

Τῶν τοίνυν δεομένων ἰατρείας οἱ μὲν ὀδόντα πονοῦντες ἢ δακτυλον αὐτόθεν βαδίζουσι παρὰ τοὺς θεραπεύοντας, οἱ δὲ πυρέττοντες οἴκαδε καλοῦσι καὶ δέονται βοηθεῖν, οἱ δ᾿ εἰς μελαγχολίαν ἢ φρενῖτιν ἢ παρακοπὴν ἥκοντες οὐδὲ φοιτῶντας ἐνιαχοῦ πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἀνέχονται, ἀλλ᾿ ἐξελαύνουσιν ἢ φεύγουσιν, μηδ᾿ ὅτι νοσοῦσιν ὑπὸ τοῦ σφόδρα νοσεῖν αἰσθανόμενοι. οὕτω δὴ καὶ τῶν ἁμαρτανόντων ἀνήκεστοι μέν εἰσιν οἱ πρὸς τοὺς ἐλέγχοντας καὶ νουθετοῦντας ἐχθρῶς καὶ ἀγρίως διατιθέμενοι καὶ χαλεπαίνοντες· οἱ δ᾿ ὑπομένοντες καὶ προσιέμενοι πραότερον ἔχουσι. τὸ δ᾿ ἑαυτὸν ἁμαρτάνοντα παρέχειν τοῖς ἐλέγχουσι καὶ τὸ πάθος λέγειν καὶ τὴν μοχθηρίαν ἀποκαλύπτειν καὶ μὴ χαίρειν λανθάνοντα μηδ᾿ ἀγαπᾶν ἀγνοούμενον ἀλλ᾿ ὁμολογεῖν καὶ δεῖσθαι τοῦ ἁπτομένου καὶ νουθετοῦντος οὐ φαῦλον ἂν εἴη προκοπῆς σημεῖον. ὥς που Διογένης ἔλεγε τῷ σωτηρίας δεομένῳ ζητεῖν προσήκειν ἢ φίλον σπουδαῖον ἢ διάπυρον ἐχθρόν, ὅπως ἐλεγχόμενος ἢ θεραπευόμενος ἐκφεύγοι τὴν κακίαν. 

Joseph Stevens, “Enemies” 1854

Life Without a Nemesis

Seneca, de providentia 1.4.3

 “I congratulate you not so much as a brave person but as if you had won the consulship or a praetorship: you have leveled up in honor! Similarly I would say to a good person if no misfortune had given them the change to demonstrate their spirit’s strength, “I think you’re unlucky because you have never been unlucky. You have made it through life without a nemesis. No one will know what you’re capable of, not even you!”

For someone to really know themselves, they need to be tested. No one discovers what they can do without trying! This is why some people have intentionally given themselves to misfortune and have searched for some way to make their true value shine bright when it might instead pass into the unknown.

Great men, I say, often delight in facing trouble, as brave soldiers do when they face war. I once heard a gladiator named Triumphus in the reign of Tiberius Caesar complaining about how few competitions there were: “How beautiful an age has slipped away!”

Non gratulor tamquam viro forti, sed tanquam consulatum praeturamve adepto; honore auctus es. Item dicere et bono viro possum, si illi nullam occasionem difficilior casus dedit in qua una1 vim animi sui ostenderet: “Miserum te iudico, quod numquam fuisti miser. Transisti sine adversario vitam; nemo sciet quid potueris, ne tu quidem ipse.” Opus est enim ad notitiam sui experimento; quid quisque posset nisi temptando non didicit. Itaque quidam ipsi ultro se cessantibus malis obtulerunt et virtuti iturae in obscurum occasionem per quam 4enitesceret quaesierunt. Gaudent, inquam, magni viri aliquando rebus adversis, non aliter quam fortes milites bello. Triumphum ego murmillonem sub Tib. Caesare de raritate munerum audivi querentem: “Quam bella,” inquit, “aetas perit!”

 

Gnomologium Vaticanum, 518

“Sophokles the tragic poet, after he heard that Euripides died in Macedonia, said “The whetstone of my poetry is gone.”

Σοφοκλῆς, ὁ τῶν τραγῳδιῶν ποιητής, ἀκούσας Εὐριπίδην ἐν Μακεδονίᾳ τεθνηκέναι εἶπεν· „ἀπώλετο ἡ τῶν ἐμῶν ποιημάτων ἀκόνη.”

Intestinal Fortitude: Adventures in Ancient Medical Treatments

Galen, Method of Medicine 14: 10, 856

“The man was forty years old, as you know. While he was believed to be colic, he not only failed to profit from fomentations, heat treatments, ointments, and enemas—those kinds of things which doctors typically apply—but his condition was exacerbated by most of them. When rue-oil was applied rectally, he got worse; and he was worse still after the application of castor oil. When honey which had been prepared with pepper was inserted, he felt the worst find of pain. And he also suffered when he took the juice of fenugreek finished with honey.* For these reasons, I surmised that the biting fluids had worked themselves into the intestinal walls to begin with and that these were causing infection along with the treatments that had been inserted through his rectum, with the additional complication of the substances that had been ingested orally.

I gave him some food that would not cause problems. Then when I saw him in more pain, I realized that it was critical to purse the kakokhumia [bad-bile]. Although the medicine which is best for this sort of bile-issue is mad from aloe which people now call bitter, I did not date have this man purged right away because he was in pain and without proper nutrition for two months. Once I purged him in stages and moderately over a period of fifteen days I healed him and did not have to provide any other treatment. This man was at that time not afflicted for the first time, and he no longer had stomach pains.”

ὁ μέν γε τεσσαρακοντούτης ἦν, ὡς οἶσθα, | κωλικὸς εἶναι νομιζόμενος, οὐ μόνον οὐδὲν ὀνινάμενος ὑπὸ καταντλήσεων καὶ πυρίας καὶ καταπλασμάτων καὶ κλυσμάτων, οἷς συνήθως εἰώθασιν ἐπὶ τῶν τοιούτων χρῆσθαι διαθέσεων, ἀλλὰ καὶ παροξυνόμενος ὑπὸ τῶν πλείστων. ἐπὶ γοῦν ἐλαίῳ πηγανίνῳ διὰ τῆς ἕδρας ἐνεθέντι χείρων ἐγένετο καὶ αὖθις ἐπὶ καστορίῳ· καὶ μέντοι καὶ μέλι ποτὲ προσενεγκάμενος ἑφθὸν ἔχον πέπερι ἐσχάτως ὠδυνήθη· καὶ τὸν χυλὸν δὲ τῆς ἑφθῆς τήλεως ἅμα μέλιτι λαβὼν ἱκανῶς παρωξύνθη. στοχασάμενος οὖν ἐγὼ χυμοὺς δακνώδεις ἐν αὐτοῖς τοῖς χιτῶσι τῶν ἐντέρων ἀναπεπόσθαι, συνδιαφθείροντας ἑαυτοῖς τά τε κάτωθεν ἐνιέμενα καὶ τὰ διὰ τοῦ στόματος λαμβανόμενα, δύσφθαρτον αὐτῷ τροφὴν δούς.

εἶτ᾿ ἰδὼν ὀδυνώμενον ἔγνων χρῆναι τὴν κακοχυμίαν ἐκκαθαίρειν. ὄντος δ᾿ ἀρίστου πρὸς τὰς τοιαύτας κακοχυμίας φαρμάκου τοῦ διὰ τῆς ἀλόης, ὃ καλοῦσιν ἤδη συνήθως πικράν, ἀθρόως μὲν οὐκ ἐτόλμησα καθαίρειν αὐτὸν τὸν ἄνθρωπον, ὑπό τε τῆς ὀδύνης καὶ τῆς ἐνδείας καθῃρημένον ἤδη που δυοῖν μηνῶν. ἐκ διαστημάτων δέ τινων σύμμετρον | τοῦτ᾿ ἐργαζόμενος ἡμέρας ὡς οἶσθά που πεντεκαίδεκα τελέως ἰασάμην αὐτὸν οὐδὲν οὐκέτι αὐτῷ προσαγαγὼν ἄλλο βοήθημα. οὗτος μὲν οὖν ἐν ἐκείνῳ τῷ χρόνῳ πρῶτον οὕτως ἠνωχλεῖτο, μηδέπω πρότερον ἀλγήσας ἔντερα.

*In case the reader is uncertain, it does in fact seem that all of these substances were applied to the intestines rectally. 

Medieval depiction of an enema being performed
This image is from Pinterest

Theognis: Three Fragments on Tyrants, Enemies and Friends

 

 

“Bring down a people-eating tyrant however you desire

No criticism for this comes from the gods”

 

δημοφάγον δὲ τύραννον ὅπως ἐθέλεις κατακλῖναι

οὐ νέμεσις πρὸς θεῶν γίνεται οὐδεμία.

 

1318a-b

“Alas, I am a wretch: because of the terrors I have suffered

I bring pleasure to my enemies and toil to my friends”

 

῎Ωιμοι ἐγὼ δειλός· καὶ δὴ κατάχαρμα μὲν ἐχθροῖς,

τοῖσι φίλοις δὲ πόνος δεινὰ παθὼν γενόμην.

 

1079-80

 

“I’ll fault no enemy when he is noble,

nor will I praise a friend when he is wrong”

 

Οὐδένα τῶν ἐχθρῶν μωμήσομαι ἐσθλὸν ἐόντα,

οὐδὲ μὲν αἰνήσω δειλὸν ἐόντα φίλον.