The Need for a Serious Friend or a Committed Enemy

Plutarch, Progress in Virtue 81f-82b

“When they need healing, people who have tooth pain or a stubbed toe go to doctors while those who have a fever ask them to come to their homes and help them. But people who fall into melancholy or a frenzy or hallucinations often cannot handle doctors visiting them and either urge them to leave or chase them off because they do not perceive that they are sick thanks to the severity of their sickness.

This is true as well of those who seriously fuck up. The people who cannot be cured are those who behave hatefully and cruelly and turn mean to those who try to correct them or help them. Those who endure and even welcome help do better. It is no small sign of progress when someone who is screwing up listens to those who try to correct them, to explain what the problem is, to reveal weakness and not to take pleasure in hiding mistakes or in them not being known but to admit them and the need to be held and advised by someone else. 

That’s why Diogenes says somewhere that for the sake of safety a person should be concerned about finding either a serious friend or a committed enemy, to escape wickedness either through direct critique or kind assistance.”

Τῶν τοίνυν δεομένων ἰατρείας οἱ μὲν ὀδόντα πονοῦντες ἢ δακτυλον αὐτόθεν βαδίζουσι παρὰ τοὺς θεραπεύοντας, οἱ δὲ πυρέττοντες οἴκαδε καλοῦσι καὶ δέονται βοηθεῖν, οἱ δ᾿ εἰς μελαγχολίαν ἢ φρενῖτιν ἢ παρακοπὴν ἥκοντες οὐδὲ φοιτῶντας ἐνιαχοῦ πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἀνέχονται, ἀλλ᾿ ἐξελαύνουσιν ἢ φεύγουσιν, μηδ᾿ ὅτι νοσοῦσιν ὑπὸ τοῦ σφόδρα νοσεῖν αἰσθανόμενοι. οὕτω δὴ καὶ τῶν ἁμαρτανόντων ἀνήκεστοι μέν εἰσιν οἱ πρὸς τοὺς ἐλέγχοντας καὶ νουθετοῦντας ἐχθρῶς καὶ ἀγρίως διατιθέμενοι καὶ χαλεπαίνοντες· οἱ δ᾿ ὑπομένοντες καὶ προσιέμενοι πραότερον ἔχουσι. τὸ δ᾿ ἑαυτὸν ἁμαρτάνοντα παρέχειν τοῖς ἐλέγχουσι καὶ τὸ πάθος λέγειν καὶ τὴν μοχθηρίαν ἀποκαλύπτειν καὶ μὴ χαίρειν λανθάνοντα μηδ᾿ ἀγαπᾶν ἀγνοούμενον ἀλλ᾿ ὁμολογεῖν καὶ δεῖσθαι τοῦ ἁπτομένου καὶ νουθετοῦντος οὐ φαῦλον ἂν εἴη προκοπῆς σημεῖον. ὥς που Διογένης ἔλεγε τῷ σωτηρίας δεομένῳ ζητεῖν προσήκειν ἢ φίλον σπουδαῖον ἢ διάπυρον ἐχθρόν, ὅπως ἐλεγχόμενος ἢ θεραπευόμενος ἐκφεύγοι τὴν κακίαν. 

Joseph Stevens, “Enemies” 1854

Come Over! We Can Help Each Other

Seneca, Moral Epistle 6.6-7

“Plato and Aristotle and that whole crew of wise guys who were bound to go different ways learned more from Socrates’ habits than his words. Epicurus’ schoolhouse didn’t make Metrodorus, Hermarchus, and Polyaenus great men, but their living together did. I invite you not only for your own benefit, but for my own too. We can help one another especially.

In the meantime, I owe you some little thing for the day. I’ll tell you what brought me joy today in Hecato’s work: Hecato writes, “What progress have I made, you ask? Well, I have started to be a friend to myself.” This counts for a lot, someone like this will never be alone. Know too that this kind of person is a friend to all. Goodbye.”

Platon et Aristoteles et omnis in diversum itura sapientium turba plus ex moribus quam ex verbis Socratis traxit; Metrodorum et Hermarchum et Polyaenum magnos viros non schola Epicuri sed contubernium fecit. Nec in hoc te accerso tantum, ut proficias, sed ut prosis; plurimum enim alter alteri conferemus.

Interim quoniam diurnam tibi mercedulam debeo, quid me hodie apud Hecatonem delectaverit dicam. “Quaeris,” inquit, “quid profecerim? Amicus esse mihi coepi.” Multum profecit; numquam erit solus. Scito hunc amicum omnibus esse. Vale.

Oil painting in a late medieval tavern. two groups are clustered drinking and talking on either side of a dark room
Adriaen Brouwer, “Taven Scene” 1635

The Need for a Serious Friend or a Committed Enemy

Plutarch, Progress in Virtue 81f-82b

“When they need healing, people who have tooth pain or a stubbed toe go to doctors while those who have a fever ask them to come to their homes and help them. But people who fall into melancholy or a frenzy or hallucinations often cannot handle doctors visiting them and either urge them to leave or chase them off because they do not perceive that they are sick thanks to the severity of their sickness.

This is true as well of those who seriously fuck up. The people who cannot be cured are those who behave hatefully and cruelly and turn mean to those who try to correct them or help them. Those who endure and even welcome help do better. It is no small sign of progress when someone who is screwing up listens to those who try to correct them, to explain what the problem is, to reveal weakness and not to take pleasure in hiding mistakes or in them not being known but to admit them and the need to be held and advised by someone else. 

That’s why Diogenes says somewhere that for the sake of safety a person should be concerned about finding either a serious friend or a committed enemy, to escape wickedness either through direct critique or kind assistance.”

Τῶν τοίνυν δεομένων ἰατρείας οἱ μὲν ὀδόντα πονοῦντες ἢ δακτυλον αὐτόθεν βαδίζουσι παρὰ τοὺς θεραπεύοντας, οἱ δὲ πυρέττοντες οἴκαδε καλοῦσι καὶ δέονται βοηθεῖν, οἱ δ᾿ εἰς μελαγχολίαν ἢ φρενῖτιν ἢ παρακοπὴν ἥκοντες οὐδὲ φοιτῶντας ἐνιαχοῦ πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἀνέχονται, ἀλλ᾿ ἐξελαύνουσιν ἢ φεύγουσιν, μηδ᾿ ὅτι νοσοῦσιν ὑπὸ τοῦ σφόδρα νοσεῖν αἰσθανόμενοι. οὕτω δὴ καὶ τῶν ἁμαρτανόντων ἀνήκεστοι μέν εἰσιν οἱ πρὸς τοὺς ἐλέγχοντας καὶ νουθετοῦντας ἐχθρῶς καὶ ἀγρίως διατιθέμενοι καὶ χαλεπαίνοντες· οἱ δ᾿ ὑπομένοντες καὶ προσιέμενοι πραότερον ἔχουσι. τὸ δ᾿ ἑαυτὸν ἁμαρτάνοντα παρέχειν τοῖς ἐλέγχουσι καὶ τὸ πάθος λέγειν καὶ τὴν μοχθηρίαν ἀποκαλύπτειν καὶ μὴ χαίρειν λανθάνοντα μηδ᾿ ἀγαπᾶν ἀγνοούμενον ἀλλ᾿ ὁμολογεῖν καὶ δεῖσθαι τοῦ ἁπτομένου καὶ νουθετοῦντος οὐ φαῦλον ἂν εἴη προκοπῆς σημεῖον. ὥς που Διογένης ἔλεγε τῷ σωτηρίας δεομένῳ ζητεῖν προσήκειν ἢ φίλον σπουδαῖον ἢ διάπυρον ἐχθρόν, ὅπως ἐλεγχόμενος ἢ θεραπευόμενος ἐκφεύγοι τὴν κακίαν. 

Joseph Stevens, “Enemies” 1854

On an Idiot, a Philosopher, and the Signs of Progress

Epictetus, Encheiridion, 48

“The state and character of an ‘idiot’ is this: he never expects harm or help from himself, but he always looks elsewhere. This is the state and character of a philosopher: he expects all help and harm to come from himself

These are signs of someone making progress: he blames no one; praises no one; criticizes no one; impugns no one; and says nothing about himself as if he were someone or knew something. Whenever he meets an obstacle or is held back, he takes the blame. Whenever anyone praises him, he chuckles to himself while they praise. If someone criticizes him, he offers no defense. He proceeds just like the feeble, taking care not to disturb anything he is developing before it grows firm.

He has banished every desire from himself and he has admitted to disinclination only those aspects of nature which are under our control, He applies a disinterested impulse toward all things. Should he seem to be simple or unlearned, he doesn’t care. In sum, he guards against himself as if he were an enemy conspirator.”

48. Ἰδιώτου στάσις καὶ χαρακτήρ· οὐδέποτε ἐξ ἑαυτοῦ προσδοκᾷ ὠφέλειαν ἢ βλάβην, ἀλλ᾿ ἀπὸ τῶν ἔξω. φιλοσόφου στάσις καὶ χαρακτήρ· πᾶσαν ὠφέλειαν καὶ βλάβην ἐξ ἑαυτοῦ προσδοκᾷ.

Σημεῖα προκόπτοντος· οὐδένα ψέγει, οὐδένα ἐπαινεῖ, οὐδένα μέμφεται, οὐδενὶ ἐγκαλεῖ, οὐδὲν περὶ ἑαυτοῦ λέγει ὡς ὄντος τινὸς ἢ εἰδότος τι. ὅταν ἐμποδισθῇ τι ἢ κωλυθῇ, ἑαυτῷ ἐγκαλεῖ. κἄν τις αὐτὸν ἐπαινῇ, καταγελᾷ τοῦ ἐπαινοῦντος αὐτὸς παρ᾿ ἑαυτῷ· κἂν ψέγῃ, οὐκ ἀπολογεῖται. περίεισι δὲ καθάπερ οἱ ἄρρωστοι, εὐλαβούμενός τι κινῆσαι τῶν καθισταμένων, πρὶν πῆξιν λαβεῖν.

ὄρεξιν ἅπασαν ἦρκεν ἐξ ἑαυτοῦ· τὴν δ᾿ ἔκκλισιν εἰς μόνα τὰ παρὰ φύσιν τῶν ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν μετατέθεικεν. ὁρμῇ πρὸς ἅπαντα ἀνειμένῃ χρῆται. ἂν ἠλίθιος ἢ ἀμαθὴς δοκῇ, οὐ πεφρόντικεν. ἑνί τε λόγῳ, ὡς ἐχθρὸν ἑαυτὸν παραφυλάσσει καὶ ἐπίβουλον.

Image result for medieval manuscript idiot
Horas de Leonor de la Vega. BNE Vitr/24/2 Fol. 185v (my daughter likes this image)

From the Suda

Idiôtai: Private individuals, used in place of citizens [politai]. This is how Thucydides uses it. But in the Frogs, Aristophanes calls idiots the people who are your own—“regarding strangers and idiots. It is derived from the word idios. And so idiôtês is what they call someone who is related to you by clan; but it is also an unlearned person. And in his Wealth, Aristophanes also uses idiôtikon as that which belongs to a person privately or idion as one’s own.

᾿Ιδιῶται: ἀντὶ τοῦ πολῖται. οὕτως Θουκυδίδης. ᾿Αριστοφάνης δὲ ἐν Βατράχοις ἰδιώτας τοὺς ἰδίους λέγει· περὶ τοὺς ξένους καὶ τοὺς ἰδιώτας· κατὰ παραγωγὴν ἴδιος, ἰδιώτης. ἰδιώτης δὲ λέγεται, ὁ πρὸς γένος ἴδιος, καὶ ὁ ἀμαθής. καὶ ἐν Πλούτῳ ἴδιον τὸ ἰδιωτικόν φησιν.

Some Words

ἰδιάζω: “to live as a private person”

ἰδιασμός: “peculiarity”

ἰδιόβιος: “living by or for oneself”

ἰδιόγλωσσος: “of distinct, peculiar tongue”

ἰδιογνώμων: “private opinion”

ἰδιοθανέω: “to die in a peculiar way”

ἰδιολογία: “private conversation”

ἰδιοξενία: “private friendship”

ἰδιοπάθεια: “feeling for oneself alone”

Also from the Suda

Idiôtês: someone who is illiterate. Damaskios writes about Isidore: “of all the idiots and all the philosophers of his time he was equally tight-lipped generally and he hid his thoughts. But he poured his mind out into the shared increase of virtue and the limit of vice.”

᾿Ιδιώτης: ὁ ἀγράμματος. Δαμάσκιος περὶ ᾿Ισιδώρου φησί·  πάντων τῶν καθ’ αὑτὸν ἰδιωτῶν ὁμοίως καὶ φιλοσόφων ἐχέμυθος ἐς τὰ μάλιστα καὶ κρυψίνους ἦν, ἀλλ’ εἴς γε συναύξησιν τῆς ἀρετῆς καὶ τῆς κακίας μείωσιν ὅλην ἐξεκέχυτο τὴν ψυχήν.

On an Idiot, a Philosopher, and the Signs of Progress

Epictetus, Encheiridion, 48

“The state and character of an ‘idiot’ is this: he never expects harm or help from himself, but he always looks elsewhere. This is the state and character of a philosopher: he expects all help and harm to come from himself

These are signs of someone making progress: he blames no one; praises no one; criticizes no one; impugns no one; and says nothing about himself as if he were someone or knew something. Whenever he meets an obstacle or is held back, he takes the blame. Whenever anyone praises him, he chuckles to himself while they praise. If someone criticizes him, he offers no defense. He proceeds just like the feeble, taking care not to disturb anything he is developing before it grows firm.

He has banished every desire from himself and he has admitted to disinclination only those aspects of nature which are under our control, He applies a disinterested impulse toward all things. Should he seem to be simple or unlearned, he doesn’t care. In sum, he guards against himself as if he were an enemy conspirator.”

48. Ἰδιώτου στάσις καὶ χαρακτήρ· οὐδέποτε ἐξ ἑαυτοῦ προσδοκᾷ ὠφέλειαν ἢ βλάβην, ἀλλ᾿ ἀπὸ τῶν ἔξω. φιλοσόφου στάσις καὶ χαρακτήρ· πᾶσαν ὠφέλειαν καὶ βλάβην ἐξ ἑαυτοῦ προσδοκᾷ.

Σημεῖα προκόπτοντος· οὐδένα ψέγει, οὐδένα ἐπαινεῖ, οὐδένα μέμφεται, οὐδενὶ ἐγκαλεῖ, οὐδὲν περὶ ἑαυτοῦ λέγει ὡς ὄντος τινὸς ἢ εἰδότος τι. ὅταν ἐμποδισθῇ τι ἢ κωλυθῇ, ἑαυτῷ ἐγκαλεῖ. κἄν τις αὐτὸν ἐπαινῇ, καταγελᾷ τοῦ ἐπαινοῦντος αὐτὸς παρ᾿ ἑαυτῷ· κἂν ψέγῃ, οὐκ ἀπολογεῖται. περίεισι δὲ καθάπερ οἱ ἄρρωστοι, εὐλαβούμενός τι κινῆσαι τῶν καθισταμένων, πρὶν πῆξιν λαβεῖν.

ὄρεξιν ἅπασαν ἦρκεν ἐξ ἑαυτοῦ· τὴν δ᾿ ἔκκλισιν εἰς μόνα τὰ παρὰ φύσιν τῶν ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν μετατέθεικεν. ὁρμῇ πρὸς ἅπαντα ἀνειμένῃ χρῆται. ἂν ἠλίθιος ἢ ἀμαθὴς δοκῇ, οὐ πεφρόντικεν. ἑνί τε λόγῳ, ὡς ἐχθρὸν ἑαυτὸν παραφυλάσσει καὶ ἐπίβουλον.

Image result for medieval manuscript idiot
Horas de Leonor de la Vega. BNE Vitr/24/2 Fol. 185v (my daughter likes this image)

 

Incremental Progress Leads to Sudden Transformation

Plutarch, How One Becomes Aware of Progress in Virtue 75c

“For neither in music nor in grammar could someone understand that he is gaining any ground in learning if he does not chip away at ignorance in these matters but instead senses the presence of an ever constant level of ignorance; nor for a sick man, should treatment fail to effect an easing or lightening  and provide no perception of the affliction yielding and harming until the opposite state unfolds when the body has regained its health in every way.

No, but just as in these categories people make no progress unless they progress by the lightening of their burden, as if on a scale they are raised in the opposite direction, they do not recognize the change.

So too in the pursuit of philosophy no change nor even the perception of change must be supposed unless the soul can cast aside and cleanse itself of stupidity—up to the acquisition of the unmixed and perfect good, it clutches to an equally unmixed evil. For in one part of time or a season, the wise person transforms from a previous abject baseness to a nearly unobtainable excess of virtue, and they suddenly depart completely from a share of wickedness which was unshakeable for so great a length of time.”

οὐδὲ γὰρ ἐν μουσικοῖς τις ἢ γραμματικοῖς ἐπιδιδοὺς ἂν γνοίη μηδὲν ἐν τῷ μανθάνειν ἀπαρύτων τῆς περὶ ταῦτα ἀμαθίας ἀλλ᾿ ἴσης ἀεὶ τῆς ἀτεχνίας αὐτῷ παρούσης, οὐδὲ κάμνοντι θεραπεία μὴ ποιοῦσα ῥᾳστώνην μηδὲ κουφισμὸν ἁμωσγέπως τοῦ νοσήματος ὑπείκοντος καὶ χαλῶντος αἴσθησιν ἂν παρέχοι διαφορᾶς, πρὶν εἰλικρινῆ τὴν ἐναντίαν ἕξιν ἐγγενέσθαι παντάπασιν ἀναρρωσθέντος τοῦ σώματος. ἀλλ᾿ ὥσπερ ἐν τούτοις οὐ προκόπτουσιν, ἂν προκόπτοντες ἀνέσει τοῦ βαρύνοντος οἷον ἐπὶ ζυγοῦ πρὸς τοὐναντίον ἀναφερόμενοι μὴ γιγνώσκωσι τὴν μεταβολήν, οὕτως ἐν τῷ φιλοσοφεῖν οὔτε προκοπὴν οὔτε τινὰ προκοπῆς αἴσθησιν ὑποληπτέον, εἰ μηδὲν ἡ ψυχὴ μεθίησι μηδ᾿ ἀποκαθαίρεται τῆς ἀβελτερίας, ἄχρι δὲ τοῦ λαβεῖν ἄκρατον τὸ ἀγαθὸν καὶ τέλειον ἀκράτῳ τῷ κακῷ χρῆται. καὶ γὰρ ἀκαρεὶ χρόνου καὶ ὥρας ἐκ τῆς ὡς ἔνι μάλιστα φαυλότητος εἰς οὐκ ἔχουσαν ὑπερβολὴν ἀρετῆς διάθεσιν μεταβαλὼν ὁ σοφός, ἧς οὐδ᾿ ἐν χρόνῳ πολλῷ μέρος ἀφεῖλε κακίας ἅμα πᾶσαν ἐξαίφνης ἐκπέφευγε.

Image result for medieval manuscript scale weighing
Book of Hours, ca. 1325-1330
MS M.700 fol. 2r