Spare Us, Earth!

Statius, Thebaid 8. 303-328

O eternal creator of humans and gods, who give birth to the rivers and forests and the seeds of everything in the world and the Promethean hands and Pyrrha’s rocks, who first gave and transformed nourishment for men, who circle and carry the sea: under your power lie the gentle flocks and the repose of birds; firm and immovable strength of the eternal world, the swift machine of the sky and both nocturnal and diurnal chariots circle you hanging in the empty air, o you center of things undivided by the great brothers! You have nourished so many races, so many lofty cities and great people, you who alone are enough both below and above, you who with no effort carry star-sustaining Atlas striving to bear the celestial realm – do you refuse to carry only us? Are we alone oppressive to you? What crime are we ignorant wretches paying for? Is it because we, a foreign people, came here from the shores of Inachus? Every soil is native to all people, nor is it right for you to distinguish your people with such a savage, grounded boundary all around. May you remain common to all, and bear your arms from here and there. May it be granted, I beg, in the order of war to puff up our pugnacious spirits and return them to the heavens. Don’t snatch away breathing bodies from such sudden pyres – don’t hurry! We will come, at that point at which all arrive, on that road which we all go down. Having been implored thus, please set a light field for the Pelasgians, and don’t rush the swift Fates.

‘o hominum diuumque aeterna creatrix,

quae fluuios siluasque animarum et semina mundo

cuncta Prometheasque manus Pyrrhaeaque saxa                305

gignis, et impastis quae prima alimenta dedisti

mutastique uiris, quae pontum ambisque uehisque:

te penes et pecudum gens mitis et ira ferarum

et uolucrum requies; firmum atque inmobile mundi

robur inoccidui, te uelox machina caeli                310

aere pendentem uacuo, te currus uterque

circumit, o rerum media indiuisaque magnis

fratribus! ergo simul tot gentibus alma, tot altis

urbibus ac populis, subterque ac desuper una

sufficis, astriferumque domos Atlanta supernas                315

ferre laborantem nullo uehis ipsa labore:

nos tantum portare negas? nos, diua, grauaris?

quod, precor, ignari luimus scelus? an quia plebes

externa Inachiis huc aduentamus ab oris?

omne homini natale solum, nec te, optima, saeuo                320

tamque humili populos deceat distinguere fine

undique ubique tuos; maneas communis et arma

hinc atque inde feras; liceat, precor, ordine belli

pugnaces efflare animas et reddere caelo.

ne rape tam subitis spirantia corpora bustis,                325

ne propera: ueniemus enim, quo limite cuncti,

qua licet ire uia; tantum exorata Pelasgis

siste leuem campum, celeres neu praecipe Parcas.

Ancient Biological Warfare

Suda, sigma 777

Solon: They [the Amphiktyones] selected this man to be their adviser for war against the Kirrhaians. When they were consulting the oracle about victory, the Pythia said: “you will not capture and raze the tower of this city before the wave of dark-eyed Amphitritê washes onto my precinct as it echoes over the wine-faced sea.”

Solon persuaded them to make Kirrhaia sacred to the god so that the sea would become a neighbor to Apollo’s precinct. And another strategy was devised by Solon against the Kirrhaians. For he turned a river’s water which used to flow in its channel into the city elsewhere.

The Kirrhaians withstood the besiegers by drinking water from wells and from rain. But [Solon] filled the river with hellebore roots and when he believed the water had enough of the drug, he returned it to its course. Then the Kirrhaians took a full portion of this water. And when they went AWOL because of diarrhea, the Amphiktyones who were stationed near the wall took it and then the city.”

Σόλων: τοῦτον εἵλοντο οἱ Κιρραίοις πολεμεῖν ᾑρημένοι σύμβουλον. χρωμένοις δὲ σφίσι περὶ νίκης ἀνεῖπεν ἡ Πυθώ: οὐ πρὶν τῆσδε πόληος ἐρείψετε πύργον ἑλόντες, πρίν κεν ἐμῷ τεμένει κυανώπιδος Ἀμφιτρίτης κῦμα ποτικλύζοι, κελαδοῦν ἐπὶ οἴνοπα πόντον. ἔπεισεν οὖν ὁ Σόλων καθιερῶσαι τῷ θεῷ τὴν Κίρραιαν, ἵνα δὴ τῷ τεμένει τοῦ Ἀπόλλωνος γένηται γείτων ἡ θάλαττα. εὑρέθη δὲ καὶ ἕτερον τῷ Σόλωνι σόφισμα ἐς τοὺς Κιρραίους: τοῦ γὰρ ποταμοῦ τὸ ὕδωρ ῥέον δι’ ὀχετοῦ ἐς τὴν πόλιν ἀπέστρεψεν ἀλλαχόσε. καὶ οἱ μὲν πρὸς τοὺς πολιορκοῦντας ἔτι ἀντεῖχον ἔκ τε φρεάτων καὶ τὸ ὕδωρ τὸ ἐκ θεοῦ πίνοντες. ὁ δὲ τοῦ ἑλλεβόρου τὰς ῥίζας ἐμβαλὼν ἐς τὸν ποταμόν, ἐπειδὴ ἱκανῶς τοῦ φαρμάκου τὸ ὕδωρ ᾔσθετο ἔχον, ἀντέστρεψεν αὖθις ἐς τὸν ὀχετόν, καὶ ἐνεφορήσαντο ἀνέδην οἱ Κιρραῖοι τοῦ ὕδατος. καὶ οἱ μὲν ὑπὸ τῆς διαρροίας ἐξέλιπον, οἱ δὲ ἐπὶ τοῦ τείχους τῆς φρουρᾶς Ἀμφικτύονες εἷλον τὴν φρουρὰν καὶ τὴν πόλιν.

Image result for medieval manuscript diarrhea
Roman d’Alexandre, Tournai 1338-1344.

From Apollonios Paradoxographus

“In his work On Plants, in the last part of the material, Theophrastos says that Eunomos, the Khian and purveyor of drugs, did not [cleanse himself/die] while drinking many draughts of hellebore. Once, even, when together with his fellow craftsmen he took over 22 drinks in one day as he sat in the agora and he did not return from his implements. Then he left to wash and eat, as he was accustomed, and did not vomit. He accomplished this after being in this custom for a long time, because he started from small amounts until he got to so many large ones. The powers of all drugs are less severe for those used to them and for some they are even useless.”

50 Θεόφραστος ἐν τῷ περὶ φυτῶν, ἐν τῇ ἐσχάτῃ τῆς πραγματείας· Εὔνομος, φησίν, ὁ Χῖος, ὁ φαρμακοπώλης, ἐλλεβόρου πίνων πλείονας πόσεις οὐκ ἐκαθαίρετο. καὶ ποτέ, ἔφη, ἐν μιᾷ ἡμέρᾳ συνθέμενος τοῖς ὁμοτέχνοις περὶ δύο καὶ εἴκοσι πόσεις ἔλαβεν ἐν τῇ ἀγορᾷ καθήμενος καὶ οὐκ ἐξανέστη ἀπὸ τῶν σκευῶν <μέχρι δείλης>. τότε δ’ ἀπῆλθεν λούσασθαι καὶ δειπνῆσαι, ὥσπερ εἰώθει, καὶ οὐκ ἐξήμεσεν.

 τοῦτο δὲ ἔπραξεν ἐν πολυχρονίῳ συνηθείᾳ γεγονώς, ἀρξάμενος ἀπὸ ὀλίγων ἕως τοσούτων πόσεων. πάντων δὲ τῶν φαρμάκων αἱ δυνάμεις ἀσθενέστεραι τοῖς συνειθισμένοις, ἐνίοις δὲ καὶ ἄπρακτοί εἰσιν.

Et in Arcadia Lupi

Augustine, City of God 18.17:

In order to add to this, Varro relates many other things no less incredible about that sorceress Circe, who turned even the companions of Ulysses into beasts, and about the Arcadians who, drawn by lot, swam across a certain pool and were there turned into wolves who lived with similar beasts through the deserts of that region. If, however, they did not eat human flesh, and swam back across the same pond after a period of nine years, they were turned back into humans. Finally, he even described by name a certain Demaenetus taking a taste of the sacrifice which the Arcadians were accustomed to make to their god Lycaeus by sacrificing a boy. Demaenetus was turned into a wold and on the tenth year restored to his proper form, in which he practiced boxing and won in the Olympic contest. This same historian thinks that the names Pan Lycaeus and Jupiter Lycaeus are applied in Arcadia for no other reason except this mutation of people into wolves, which they thought could not happen except through divine force. For a wolf is called a lykos in Greek, from which the name Lycaeus seems to be derived. Varro adds that the Roman Luperci arose as if from the seeds of those mystery rites.

Hoc Varro ut astruat, commemorat alia non minus incredibilia de illa maga famosissima Circe, quae socios quoque Vlixis mutauit in bestias, et de Arcadibus, qui sorte ducti tranabant quoddam stagnum atque ibi conuertebantur in lupos et cum similibus feris per illius regionis deserta uiuebant. Si autem carne non uescerentur humana, rursus post nouem annos eodem renatato stagno reformabantur in homines. Denique etiam nominatim expressit quendam Demaenetum gustasse de sacrificio, quod Arcades immolato puero deo suo Lycaeo facere solerent, et in lupum fuisse mutatum et anno decimo in figuram propriam restitutum pugilatum sese exercuisse et Olympiaco uicisse certamine. Nec idem propter aliud arbitratur historicus in Arcadia tale nomen adfictum Pani Lycaeo et Ioui Lycaeo nisi propter hanc in lupos hominum mutationem, quod eam nisi ui diuina fieri non putarent. Lupus enim Graece lukos dicitur, unde Lycaei nomen apparet inflexum. Romanos etiam Lupercos ex illorum mysteriorum ueluti semine dicit exortos.

More Human to Laugh than to Mourn?

Seneca, de Tranquilitate Animi 15

“But it does no good to escape the causes of private sadness—for sometimes the hatred of humankind overwhelms us. When you consider how uncommon simplicity is, how innocence is unknown and trust is scarcely there unless it brings some advantage; or when you recognize so thick a crowd of successful crimes and the profits and losses of lust—both equally despicable—and an ambition that does not restrain itself within its own limits but even gains glory because of its wickedness—when you do this, the soul is driven into darkness and, just as if the meaning of the virtues were flipped and they can’t be hoped for nor is it advantageous to possess them, then the shadows hang over us.

At this moment, we must begin to believe that all the vices of the mob do not seem hateful but instead absurd; let us imitate Democritus rather than Heraclitus. The latter, indeed, whenever he braved the public, used to weep; but the former used to laugh. To the second, everything which we do seems miserable; to the first merely incompetent. We must, therefore, make everything lighter and carry it with an easy mind. It is more human to laugh at life than to mourn it.

Consider too that the one who laughs at humanity earns more from it than the one who laments it—for the first saves for himself some hope of good while the latter foolishly despairs that change is possible. When everything is considered, the person who does not restrain laughter seems to be of a greater spirit than the one who will not retain tears, and this is because laughter moves the slightest aspect of the mind and believes that nothing is great, nothing is severe, nor miserable either in the whole setup of life.

Let each person look directly at what the causes of happiness and sadness are personally and then let it be learned that what Bion said is true—all human business is similar to its beginning and human life is no more sacred or severe than its conception—that we return to nothing because from nothing we were born.”

Sed nihil prodest privatae tristitiae causas abiecisse; occupat enim nonnumquam odium generis humani. Cum cogitaveris, quam sit rara simplicitas et quam ignota innocentia et vix umquam, nisi cum expedit, fides, et occurrit tot scelerum felicium turbaet libidinis lucra damnaque pariter invisa et ambitio usque eo iam se suis non continens terminis, ut per turpitudinem splendeat: agitur animus in noctem et velut eversis virtutibus, quas nec sperare licet nec habere prodest, tenebrae oboriuntur. In hoc itaque flectendi sumus, ut omnia vulgi vitia non invisa nobis sed ridicula videantur et Democritum potius imitemur quam Heraclitum. Hic enim, quotiens in publicum processerat, flebat, ille ridebat; huic omnia quae agimus miseriae, illi ineptiae videbantur. Elevanda ergo omnia et facili animo ferenda; humanius est deridere vitam quam deplorare.

Adice quod de humano quoque genere melius meretur qui ridet illud quam qui luget; ille ei spei bonae aliquid relinquit, hic autem stulte deflet quae corrigi posse desperat. Et universa contemplanti maioris animi est qui risum non tenet quam qui lacrimas, quando lenissimum adfectum animi movet et nihil magnum, nihil severum, ne miserum quidem ex tanto paratu putat. Singula propter quae laeti ac tristes sumus sibi quisque proponat et sciet verum esse quod Bion dixit: omnia hominum negotia simillima initiis esse nec vitam illorum magis sanctam aut severam esse quam conceptum, in nihilum recidere denihilo natos.

Democritus by Agostino Carracci.

Live Love Lysias

Dionysius of Halicarnassus, Lysias (§2):

Lysias is totally pure in his mode of expression, and is a regular paragon of the Attic dialect – not the archaic one used by Plato and Thucydides, but the one which was common during his own time, which can be seen in the speeches of Andocides, Critias, and a bunch of others. In this respect, which is indeed the chief and most important thing in speech writing (I am speaking of his ability to purify his dialect), no one among succeeding generations ever surpassed him, and indeed many people had not even the power to imitate him, with the exception of Isocrates. For he seems to me to have been the purest among the rest in his use of language among the successors of Lysias. I find this to be the one virtue worthy of study and imitation for an orator, and I would implore those who want to write or speak clearly to hold up Lysias as the perfect paradigm of that particular excellence.

Parc de Versailles, Rond-Point des Philosophes. Lysias, Jean Dedieu

καθαρός ἐστι τὴν ἑρμηνείαν πάνυ καὶ τῆς ᾿Αττικῆς γλώττης ἄριστος κανών, οὐ τῆς ἀρχαίας, ᾗ κέχρηται Πλάτων τε καὶ Θουκυδίδης, ἀλλὰ τῆς κατ’ ἐκεῖνον τὸν χρόνον ἐπιχωριαζούσης, ὡς ἔστι τεκμήρασθαι τοῖς τε ᾿Ανδοκίδου λόγοις καὶ τοῖς Κριτίου καὶ ἄλλοις συχνοῖς. κατὰ τοῦτο μὲν δὴ τὸ μέρος, ὅ πέρ ἐστι πρῶτόν τε καὶ κυριώτατον ἐν λόγοις, λέγω δὲ τὸ καθαρεύειν τὴν διάλεκτον, οὐθεὶς τῶν μεταγενεστέρων αὐτὸν ὑπερεβάλετο, ἀλλ’ οὐδὲ μιμήσασθαι πολλοὶ δύναμιν ἔσχον ὅτι μὴ μόνος ᾿Ισοκράτης· καθαρώτατος γὰρ δὴ τῶν ἄλλων μετὰ Λυσίαν ἐν τοῖς ὀνόμασιν οὗτος ἔμοιγε δοκεῖ γενέσθαι ὁ ἀνήρ. μίαν μὲν δὴ ταύτην ἀρετὴν ἀξίαν ζήλου καὶ μιμήσεως εὑρίσκω παρὰ τῷ  ῥήτορι καὶ παρακελευσαίμην ἂν τοῖς βουλομένοις καθαρῶς γράφειν ἢ λέγειν ἐκεῖνον τὸν ἄνδρα ποιεῖσθαι παράδειγμα ταύτης τῆς ἀρετῆς.

Fortune F**ks Us Up

Polybius, Histories 29.21:

Perseus frequently and very deeply remembered the words of Demetrius of Phaleron. That man, wishing to show clearly in his notes on Fortune just how mutable it was, set for our consideration the times of Alexander, who destroyed the Persian empire. This is what Demetrius wrote:

‘You needn’t think about the whole extent of recorded time, nor even about many generations, but perhaps only the last fifty years before our age. Doing so, you would recognize the brutality of Fortune. Do you think that fifty years ago either the Persians, or the Persian king, or the Macedonians, or the Macedonian king would believe, if some god were to give them a prophecy of what was to happen, that there would be nothing at all left of the name of the Persians who once ruled over all of civilization, but that the Macedonians would hold sway over all, though their name had barely been known before? Yet this Fortune, which never comports with our life and makes everything strange beyond reckoning and displays the same power of paradox even now shows to all people, by setting up the Macedonians in the former happy state of the Persians, that she has granted such goods to them only until she contrives some different plan for them.’

῞Ωστε πολλάκις καὶ λίαν μνημονεύειν τῆς Δημητρίου τοῦ Φαληρέως φωνῆς. ἐκεῖνος γὰρ ἐν τῷ περὶ τῆς τύχης ὑπομνήματι βουλόμενος ἐναργῶς ὑποδεικνύναι τοῖς ἀνθρώποις τὸ ταύτης εὐμετάβολον, ἐπιστὰς ἐπὶ τοὺς κατ’ ᾿Αλέξανδρον καιρούς, ὅτε κατέλυσε τὴν Περσῶν ἀρχήν, λέγει ταῦτα· “εἰ γὰρ λάβοιτ’ ἐν (νῷ) μὴ χρόνον ἄπειρον μηδὲ γενεὰς πολλάς, ἀλλὰ πεντήκοντα μόνον ἔτη ταυτὶ τὰ πρὸ ἡμῶν, γνοίητ’ ἂν ὡς τὸ τῆς τύχης χαλεπὸν ἐνταῦθα. πεντηκοστῷ γὰρ ἔτει (πρότερον) οἴεσθ’ ἂν ἢ Πέρσας ἢ βασιλέα τῶν Περσῶν ἢ Μακεδόνας ἢ βασιλέα τῶν Μακεδόνων, εἴ τις θεῶν αὐτοῖς προύλεγε τὸ μέλλον, πιστεῦσαί ποτ’ ἂν ὡς εἰς τοῦτον τὸν καιρὸν Περσῶν (μὲν) οὐδ’ ὄνομα λειφθήσεται τὸ παράπαν, οἳ πάσης (σχεδὸν) τῆς οἰκουμένης ἐδέσποζον, Μακεδόνες δὲ (καὶ) πάσης κρατήσουσιν, ὧν οὐδ’ ὄνομα πρότερον ἦν (γνώριμον). ἀλλ’ ὅμως ἡ πρὸς τὸν βίον ἡμῶν ἀσύνθετος τύχη καὶ πάντα παρὰ (τὸν) λογισμὸν τὸν ἡμέτερον καινοποιοῦσα καὶ τὴν αὑτῆς δύναμιν ἐν τοῖς παραδόξοις ἐνδεικυμένη καὶ νῦν, ὡς ἐμοὶ δοκεῖ, δείκνυσι πᾶσιν ἀνθρώποις, Μακεδόνας εἰς τὴν Περσῶν εὐδαιμονίαν εἰσοικίσασα, διότι καὶ τούτοις ταῦτα τἀγαθὰ κέχρηκεν, ἕως (ἂν) ἄλλο τι βουλεύσηται περὶ αὐτῶν.”

Cicero Needs Nothing So Much as a Friend

Cicero can seem an insufferable windbag in some of his speeches–but some of his letters humanize him.

Cicero to Atticus 1.18 20 Jan 60

“Know that I need nothing so much as a person to whom I can explain the things I worry about, someone who cares about me, who is wise, to whom I may speak and fabricate nothing, lie about nothing, and hold nothing back.

My brother is away, the most honest and beloved man. Metellus is not a man but instead is “shore and air” and “only solitude”. You, moreover, who most wisely lightens by concern and anxiety of spirit with conversation and counsel, you are my companion in public affairs and my confidant in private matters, and who are usually a companion of all my speeches and plans, where are you? I am so completely isolated that I only have as much relaxation as those moments spend with my wife, my little girl and my sweetest Marcus.

For my ambitious and convenient friendships have a certain shine in public affairs, but they bear no domestic fruit. My home is so full with a crowd in the morning but when I go to the forum with flocks of friends, I can’t find a single person in the great crowd to share a joke with or to whisper familiarly.

This is why I am looking for you, why I miss you, and I am also now calling you home. Many things really trouble me and make me anxious—but these are things which I think I can get off my chest once I have your ears for a talk during a single walk.”

Nihil mihi nunc scito tam deesse quam hominem eum quocum omnia quae me cura aliqua adficiunt una communicem, qui me amet, qui sapiat, quicum ego cum loquar nihil fingam, nihil dissimulem, nihil obtegam. abest enim frater ἀϕελέστατος et amantissimus. †Metellus† non homo sed ‘litus atque aër’ et ‘solitudo me<r>a.’ tu autem qui saepissime curam et angorem animi mei sermone et consilio levasti tuo, qui mihi et in publica re socius et in privatis omnibus conscius et omnium meorum sermonum et consiliorum particeps esse soles, ubinam es? ita sum ab omnibus destitutus ut tantum requietis habeam quantum cum uxore et filiola et mellito Cicerone consumitur. nam illae ambitiosae nostrae fucosaeque amicitiae sunt in quodam splendore forensi, fructum domesticum non habent. itaque cum bene completa domus est tempore matutino, cum ad forum stipati gregibus amicorum descendimus, reperire ex magna turba neminem possumus quocum aut iocari libere aut suspirare familiariter possimus. qua re te exspectamus, te desideramus, te iam etiam arcessimus. multa sunt enim quae me sollicitant anguntque, quae mihi videor auris nactus tuas unius ambulationis sermone exhaurire posse.

Image result for medieval manuscript cicero letter to a friend
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Stripping the Integuments of Fiction

Giovanni Boccaccio, Genealogy of the Pagan Gods (1.3):

So here you have, my noble king, a ridiculous story. But we have come to the point where it is convenient to remove the bark of fiction from the truth, though we must first respond to those who ask why the poets covered the works of God, or of nature, or of humans under this veil of fictions. Was there not another way? There was, to be sure, but just as not all people are equal in appearance, so too the faculty of judgment differs among them. Achilles preferred arms to leisure, Aegisthus indolence to arms; Plato followed philosophy to the neglect of everything else, while Phidias sculpted statues with his chisel and Apelles painted images with his brush.

Habes, rex inclite, ridiculam fabulam, verum eo ventum est, ubi oportunum sit a veritate amovere fictionis corticem, sed prius respondendum est persepe dicentibus, quid poete dei opera vel nature vel hominum hoc sub fabularum velamine tradidere? Non erat eis modus alter? Erat equidem, sed uti non equa facies omnibus, sic nec animorum iudicia. Achilles arma preposuit ocio, Egisthus desidiam armis, Plato phylosophiam omissis ceteris secutus est, statuas celte sculpere Phydias, Apelles pinnaculo ymagines pingere.

 

Drink To Rest and Refresh the Weary Mind

Aulus Gellius 15.2

“But Plato in the first and second book of Laws did not—as was opined by a fool—praise that most shameful drunkenness which weakens and diminishes people’s minds; but he did not dismiss that kinder and a bit friendlier embrace of wine which may come under the influence of good judges and masters of banquets. For he believed that minds were renewed by proper and moderate refreshments for the purpose of carrying out the duties of sobriety and, further, that people were bit by bit made happier and rendered better prepared for pursuing their plans again.

At the same time, if there are any deep  mistakes of desire or affection with in them which a proper sense of shame usually concealed, than these could all be revealed without serious danger and in this be made readier for alteration and treatment.”

Sed enim Plato in primo et secundo De Legibus non, ut ille nebulo opinabatur, ebrietatem istam turpissimam quae labefacere et inminuere hominum mentes solet laudavit, sed hanc largiorem paulo iucundioremque vini invitationem, quae fieret sub quibusdam quasi arbitris et magistris conviviorum sobriis, non inprobavit. Nam et modicis honestisque inter bibendum remissionibus refici integrarique animos ad instauranda sobrietatis officia existumavit reddique eos sensim laetiores atque ad intentiones rursum capiendas fieri habiliores, et simul, si qui penitus in his adfectionum cupiditatumque errores inessent, quos aliquis pudor reverens concelaret, ea omnia sine gravi periculo, libertate per vinum data detegi et ad corrigendum medendumque fieri oportuniora.

Macrobius Records the same bit as Gellius above and then adds:

Macrobius 2.8.7

Plato also said this in the same passage, that we ought not to avoid practices of this sort for struggling against the violence of wine and that there is no one who has ever seemed so constant and controlled that his life would not be tested in these very dangers of mistakes and in the illicit traps of pleasure.”

atque hoc etiam Plato ibidem dicit, non defugiendas esse huiusce modi exercitationes adversum propulsandam vini violentiam, neque ullum umquam continentem prorsum aut temperantem satis fideliter visum esse cui vita non inter ipsa errorum pericula et in mediis voluptatum inlecebris explorata sit.

We can get a bit more explicit:

From Athenaeus’ Deipnosophists (1.41.16-36)

“Mnestheus of Athens also insists that the Pythia commanded the Athenians to honor Dionysus as a doctor. So Alcaeus the Mitylenaean poet says:

Wet your lungs with wine, for the dog-star is rising.
The season is rough: everything thirsts in this heat.

And elsewhere he says: “Let’s drink, for the dog star is rising.” Eupolis says that Callias is compelled to drink by Pythagoras so that “he may cleanse his lung before the dog star’s rise.” And it is not only the lung that gets dry, but the heart runs the same risk. That’s why Antiphanes says:

Tell me, why do we live?
I say that it is to drink.*
See how many trees alongside rushing streams
Drink constantly throughout the day and night
And how big and beautiful they grow.
Those that abstain
Wilt from the root up.

*A twitter correspondent has suggested that this really means “what is living, it is drinking”. This is definitely closer to the Greek idea; but I kept mine because I think it is punchier in English. Get it, punchier?

drinking

καὶ Μνησίθεος δ’ ὁ ᾿Αθηναῖος Διόνυσον ἰατρόν φησι τὴν Πυθίαν χρῆσαι τιμᾶν ᾿Αθηναίοις. φησὶ δὲ καὶ ᾿Αλκαῖος ὁ Μιτυληναῖος ποιητής (fr. 39 B4)·

τέγγε πνεύμονα οἴνῳ· τὸ γὰρ ἄστρον περιτέλλεται·
ἡ δ’ ὥρη χαλεπή· πάντα δὲ δίψαισ’ ὑπὸ καύματος.
καὶ ἀλλαχοῦ (fr. 40)·

πίνωμεν, τὸ γὰρ ἄστρον περιτέλλεται.

Εὔπολίς τε τὸν Καλλίαν φησὶν ἀναγκάζεσθαι ὑπὸ Πρωταγόρου πίνειν, ἵνα (I 297 K)·
πρὸ τοῦ κυνὸς τὸν πνεύμον’ ἔκλυτον φορῇ. ἡμῖν δ’ οὐ μόνον ὁ πνεύμων ἀπεξήρανται, κινδυνεύει δὲ καὶ ἡ καρδία. καίτοι ᾿Αντιφάνης λέγει (II 112 K)·

τὸ δὲ ζῆν, εἰπέ μοι,
τί ἐστι; τὸ πίνειν φήμ’ ἐγώ.
ὁρᾷς παρὰ ῥείθροισι χειμάρροις ὅσα
δένδρων ἀεὶ τὴν νύκτα καὶ τὴν ἡμέραν
βρέχεται, μέγεθος καὶ κάλλος οἷα γίνεται,
τὰ δ’ ἀντιτείνοντ’ [οἱονεὶ δίψαν τινὰ
ἢ ξηρασίαν ἔχοντ’] αὐτόπρεμν’ ἀπόλλυται.

And I am a fan of this one too:

Baton, the Comic Poet (fr. 3.1-11, preserved in Athenaeus Deipn. 4.163b)

“I am calling the prudent philosophers here,
Those who never allow themselves anything good,
Those who seek a thoughtful man in every walk
And in their discussions as if he were a fugitive slave.
Wretched person, why are you sober if you have money?
Why do you dishonor the gods this much?
Why do you think money is worth more than you are?
Does it have some intrinsic worth?
If you drink water, you’re useless to the city.
You hurt the farmer and the trader at the same time.
But I make them wealthier by getting drunk.”

τῶν φιλοσόφων τοὺς σώφρονας ἐνταυθοῖ καλῶ,
τοὺς ἀγαθὸν αὑτοῖς οὐ διδόντας οὐδὲ ἕν,
τοὺς τὸν φρόνιμον ζητοῦντας ἐν τοῖς περιπάτοις
καὶ ταῖς διατριβαῖς ὥσπερ ἀποδεδρακότα.
ἄνθρωπ’ ἀλάστωρ, διὰ τί συμβολὰς ἔχων
νήφεις; τί τηλικοῦτον ἀδικεῖς τοὺς θεούς;
τί τἀργύριον, ἄνθρωπε, τιμιώτερον
σαυτοῦ τέθεικας ἢ πέφυκε τῇ φύσει;
ἀλυσιτελὴς εἶ τῇ πόλει πίνων ὕδωρ·
τὸν γὰρ γεωργὸν καὶ τὸν ἔμπορον κακοῖς.
ἐγὼ δὲ τὰς προσόδους μεθύων καλὰς ποιῶ.

 

Not This, But That

“Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want”
-Spice Girls, “Wannabe,” 1996 A.D.

Philodemus 11.34 (Greek Anthology)

White violets and songs to the lyre,
Wines from Chios and myrrh from Syria,
Drinking parties and writhing harlots—
No thanks. Not again. I would lose my mind.
But wreaths of narcissus, put ‘em ‘round me.
Give me a taste of what the flute can do.
Rub my limbs with crocus-scented oils,
And soak my pipes with Mytilene wine.
Oh, and bring me a wife, a virgin and shy.

Λευκοΐνους πάλι δὴ καὶ ψάλματα, καὶ πάλι Χίους
οἴνους, καὶ πάλι δὴ σμύρναν ἔχειν Συρίην,
καὶ πάλι κωμάζειν, καὶ ἔχειν πάλι διψάδα πόρνην
οὐκ ἐθέλω: μισῶ ταὺτα τὰ πρὸς μανίην.
ἀλλά με ναρκίσσοις ἀναδήσατε, καὶ πλαγιαύλων
γεύσατε, καὶ κροκίνοις χρίσατε γυῖα μύροις,
καὶ Μυτιληναίῳ τὸν πνεύμονα τέγξατε Βάκχῳ,
καὶ συζεύξατέ μοι φωλάδα παρθενικήν.

Larry Benn has a B.A. in English Literature from Harvard College, an M.Phil in English Literature from Oxford University, and a J.D. from Yale Law School. Making amends for a working life misspent in finance, he’s now a hobbyist in ancient languages and blogs at featsofgreek.blogspot.com.