Caveat Lector: As so often with Martial, this epigram may be offensive to some.
“Lesbia, you’re always ordering my penis to stand up for you. Believe me, a cock isn’t like a finger! You can urge upon it with a coaxing voice or coaxing hands, but your bossy face is just getting in the way.”
Stare iubes semper nostrum tibi, Lesbia, penem:
crede mihi, non est mentula quod digitus.
Tu licet et manibus blandis et uocibus instes,
te contra facies imperiosa tua est
This is hilarious!
I don’t even know what to say about this one. Bravo, I guess
I knew that this would be right “up your alley.”
Take that as you will!!!