Innovation – SENTENTIAE ANTIQUAE

A totally serious thread.

Users will be able to select one of four phallometric symbols to express their responses to tweets

A flaccid, bronze divine phallus says “I’m listening, tell me more” pic.twitter.com/Z40TJsWGOn

— sententiae antiquae (@sentantiq) November 1, 2018

The Pompeii #phallus says, “hey, this is serious, we’re weighing the value of this tweet” pic.twitter.com/W6p2fpglaM

— sententiae antiquae (@sentantiq) November 1, 2018

When asked about whether or not this new system was hostile to women, #twitter CFO Oglethorpe Humperdink said, “Well, we already know that twitter is a cesspool of abusive dicks. Why not double down on our brand?”#Phallusthursday

— sententiae antiquae (@sentantiq) November 1, 2018

Women of twitter, fed up at yet another tone-deaf corporate response, said “Fuck this” (no, not literally, my dear Silenus) and offered up their own kolpometric system (with a super h/t to @serenajenk):