Semiramis, the Assyrian Empress: Aelian, Varia Historia 7.1

“Different writers have praised Semiramis the Assyrian in different ways—she was the most fetching of women even if she took rather poor care of her beauty. When she appeared before the king of the Assyrians, called there thanks to the fame of her beauty, he fell in love with the woman as soon as he met her. She asked the king to have a royal dress and to rule over Asia for five days and for the things she ordered to be carried out. She did not fail to receive this. When the king established her to the throne, she realized that she held everything according to her hand and judgment. So she ordered the spear-bearers to kill the king and this is how she obtained the rule of the Assyrians. Deinôn tells this story.”

Σεμίραμιν τὴν ᾿Ασσυρίαν ἄλλοι μὲν ἄλλως ᾄδουσιν, ὡραιοτάτη δὲ ἐγένετο γυναικῶν, εἰ καὶ ἀφελέστερον ἐχρῆτο τῷ κάλλει. ἀφικομένη δὲ πρὸς τὸν τῶν ᾿Ασσυρίων βασιλέα κλητὴ κατὰ κλέος τῆς ὥρας, ὃ δὲ ἐντυχὼν τῇ ἀνθρώπῳ ἠράσθη αὐτῆς. ἣ δὲ ᾔτησεν ἐκ τοῦ βασιλέως τὴν βασίλειον στολὴν λαβεῖν καὶ πέντε ἡμερῶν τῆς ᾿Ασίας ἄρξαι, καὶ τὰ ὑπὸ ταύτης προσταττόμενα δρᾶσαι. οὐδὲ τῆς αἰτήσεως ἠτύχησεν. ἐπεὶ δὲ ἐκάθισεν αὐτὴν ὁ βασιλεὺς ἐπὶ τοῦ θρόνου, καὶ ἔγνω διὰ χειρὸς καὶ γνώμης ἔχουσα πάντα, προσέταξε τοῖς δορυφόροις αὐτὸν τὸν βασιλέα κτεῖναι• καὶ οὕτω τὴν τῶν ᾿Ασσυρίων ἀρχὴν κατέσχε. λέγει δὲ ταῦτα Δείνων.

Literacy Was Shameful in Ancient Thrace: Aelian Varia Historia, 8.6

“People say that none of the ancient Thracians knew how to read. In fact, the barbarians who live in Europe all believe that reading is the most shameful thing. As the story goes, the barbarians in Asia made a better use of literacy. For this reason, many also dare to claim that Orpheus was not sophisticated because he was Thracian and that the myths about him are complete lies. Androtion alleges these things, if he is any kind of a trustworthy source for the illiteracy and uneducated nature of the Thracians.”

Τῶν ἀρχαίων φασὶ Θρᾳκῶν μηδένα ἐπίστασθαι γράμματα• ἀλλὰ καὶ ἐνόμιζον αἴσχιστον εἶναι πάντες οἱ τὴν Εὐρώπην οἰκοῦντες βάρβαροι χρῆσθαι γράμμασιν. οἱ δὲ ἐν τῇ ᾿Ασίᾳ ὡς λόγος ἐχρῶντο αὐτοῖς μᾶλλον. ἔνθεν τοι καὶ τολμῶσι λέγειν μηδὲ τὸν ᾿Ορφέα σοφὸν γεγονέναι, Θρᾷκα ὄντα, ἀλλ’ ἄλλως τοὺς μύθους αὐτοῦ καταψεύσασθαι. ταῦτα ᾿Ανδροτίων λέγει, εἴ τῳ πιστὸς ὑπὲρ τῆς ἀγραμματίας καὶ ἀπαιδευσίας Θρᾳκῶν τεκμηριῶσαι.

The Peripatetics on Where Dreams Come From: Aelian, Varia Historia 3.1

“The Peripatetics say that at day the soul is a slave encased by the body and it is not able to see the truth clearly. At night, it is freed from its service and, after takes the shape of a sphere in the area around the chest, it becomes somewhat prophetic: this is where dreams come from.”

Οἱ περιπατητικοί φασι μεθ’ ἡμέραν θητεύουσαν τὴν ψυχὴν τῷ σώματι περιπλέκεσθαι καὶ μὴ δύνασθαι καθαρῶς τὴν ἀλήθειαν θεωρεῖν• νύκτωρ δὲ διαλυθεῖσαν τῆς περὶ τοῦτο λειτουργίας καὶ σφαιρωθεῖσαν ἐν τῷ περὶ τὸν θώρακα τόπῳ μαντικωτέραν γίνεσθαι, ἐξ ὧν τὰ ἐνύπνια.

If You Feel Rage Coming On, Sing Yourself A Song: Aelian on Kleinias and Achilles

Aelian, 14.23 Achilles plays the Lyre to Calm his Rage

“Kleinias was serious in his manner and he was a Pythagorean in his philosophical training. If he was ever driven towards rage or had a sense of getting hot-headed, immediately before he became too overwhlemed with anger and before it was clear it was coming, he picked up the lyre and began to play. In response to people asking what the reason for this was, he responded melodiously, “I am calming myself”. Achilles in the Iliad seems to me to put his rage sleep when he sings along to a lyre and brings reminds himself of the famous tales of former men through his song. For, since he was a musical man, he chose the lyre first out of all the spoils.”

Κλεινίας ἀνὴρ ἦν σπουδαῖος τὸν τρόπον, Πυθαγόρειος δὲ τὴν σοφίαν. οὗτος εἴ ποτε ἐς ὀργὴν προήχθη καὶ εἶχεν αἰσθητικῶς ἑαυτοῦ ἐς θυμὸν ἐξαγομένου, παραχρῆμα πρὶν ἢ ἀνάπλεως αὐτῷ ἡ ὀργὴ καὶ ἐπίδηλος γένηται ὅπως διάκειται, τὴν λύραν ἁρμοσάμενος ἐκιθάριζε. πρὸς δὲ τοὺς πυνθανομένους τὴν αἰτίαν ἀπεκρίνετο ἐμμελῶς ὅτι ‘πραΰνομαι.’ δοκεῖ δέ μοι καὶ ὁ ἐν ᾿Ιλιάδι ᾿Αχιλλεύς, ὁ τῇ κιθάρᾳ προσᾴδων καὶ τὰ κλέα τῶν προτέρων διὰ τοῦ μέλους ἐς μνήμην ἑαυτῷ ἄγων, τὴν μῆνιν κατευνάζειν• μουσικὸς γὰρ ὢν τὴν κιθάραν πρώτην ἐκ τῶν λαφύρων ἔλαβε.

Aelian is referring to the following passage from Homer when the embassy from Agamemnon comes to treat with Achilles in book 9. Odysseus, Ajax and Phoenix arrive and find Achilles singing.

Iliad, 9.185-191

“They came to the dwellings and the ships of the Myrmidons
And they found [Achilles] delighting his heart with the clear-voiced lyre,
A finely wrought one which was silver on the bridge,
The one he chose as a prize after sacking the city of Êetiôn.
He delighted his heart with that and sang the famous stories of men.
But Patroklos sat alone opposite him in silence,
Waiting for time when the grandson of Aiakos would stop his songs.”

Μυρμιδόνων δ’ ἐπί τε κλισίας καὶ νῆας ἱκέσθην,
τὸν δ’ εὗρον φρένα τερπόμενον φόρμιγγι λιγείῃ
καλῇ δαιδαλέῃ, ἐπὶ δ’ ἀργύρεον ζυγὸν ἦεν,
τὴν ἄρετ’ ἐξ ἐνάρων πόλιν ᾿Ηετίωνος ὀλέσσας•
τῇ ὅ γε θυμὸν ἔτερπεν, ἄειδε δ’ ἄρα κλέα ἀνδρῶν.
Πάτροκλος δέ οἱ οἶος ἐναντίος ἧστο σιωπῇ,
δέγμενος Αἰακίδην ὁπότε λήξειεν ἀείδων,

Aelian’s interpretation is interesting in part because it makes sense—Achilles is often seen as resting, or taking up time with the singing. But modern interpretations put a lot more weight into Achilles’ words, and what exactly it means to sing the “famous stories of men”. In the same book, Phoenix chastises Achilles by saying: “This is not what we have heard before in the famous stories of men/ heroes, whenever a powerful anger overtook someone” (οὕτω καὶ τῶν πρόσθεν ἐπευθόμεθα κλέα ἀνδρῶν / ἡρώων, ὅτε κέν τιν’ ἐπιζάφελος χόλος ἵκοι, 9.524-5). And in the Odyssey, the same phrase is used to indicate Demodokos’ ability to sing songs from the Trojan War, right before he sings about the conflict between Odysseus and Achilles. (Μοῦσ’ ἄρ’ ἀοιδὸν ἀνῆκεν ἀειδέμεναι κλέα ἀνδρῶν, 8.73)

So, the basic argument is that the phrase kléa andrôn is a metonym for tales from myth or epic and that Achilles is not merely entertaining himself but, just as Phoenix invites him to consider the lessons from “the famous stories of men” as precedents to help correct his behavior, Achilles is singing in order to figure out where his story fits in the pantheon of tales he knows. And, against Aelian’s interpretation, Achilles doesn’t seem to have overcome his anger for very long once Odysseus begins to speak…

Krates Gave Up Even His City: Aelian, Varia Historia 3.6

“Krates of Thebes was magnanimous and furnished many examples of it; he was also dismissive of things admired by most men, including money and native home. The fact that he gave all of his wealth to the Thebans is well-recorded. But less well known is another detail: he left Thebes when it was rebuilt and said: “I don’t want a city that some other Alexander will destroy.”

Κράτης ὁ Θηβαῖος τά τε ἄλλα μεγαλόφρων ὢν πεφώραται καὶ καταφρονητικὸς τῶν ὑπὸ τοῦ πλήθους θαυμαζομένων, ἀτὰρ οὖν καὶ χρημάτων καὶ πατρίδος. ὅτι μὲν οὖν τῆς οὐσίας ἀπέστη τοῖς Θηβαίοις, τοῦτο μὲν καὶ ἐς πάντας ἐξεφοίτησε• τὸ δὲ ἕτερον αὐτοῦ οὐ πᾶσι γνώριμον• ἔστι δὲ ἐκεῖνο. ἀπαλλαττόμενος τῶν Θηβῶν οἰκισθεισῶν πάλιν ἔφη ‘οὐ δέομαι πόλεως, ἣν ᾿Αλέξανδρος κατασκάψει ἄλλος.’

Sardinians Probably Had the Worst Mother’s Day Ever: Aelian, 4.1

“The custom in Sardinia was that the children of parents who had grown old would kill them by beating them with clubs and then bury them, because they believed that it was shameful to go on living when someone was very old once the body, overcome by the toils of old age, would start failing in many ways. The Sardinians also had the following law: there were trials for indolence—it was necessary for a man who lived without an occupation to be tried and to give proof in court showing the means by which he lived.”

Νόμος ἐστὶ Σαρδῷος, τοὺς ἤδη γεγηρακότας τῶν πατέρων οἱ παῖδες ῥοπάλοις τύπτοντες ἀνῄρουν καὶ ἔθαπτον, αἰσχρὸν ἡγούμενοι τὸν λίαν ὑπέργηρων ὄντα ζῆν ἔτι, ὡς πολλὰ ἁμαρτάνοντος τοῦ σώματος τοῦ διὰ τὸ γῆρας πεπονηκότος. τῶν δὲ αὐτῶν ἐστι νόμος τοιοῦτος. ἀργίας ἦσαν δίκαι, καὶ τὸν εἰκῆ ζῶντα ἔδει κρίνεσθαι καὶ διδόναι τὰς εὐθύνας ἀποδεικνύντα ὁπόθεν ζῇ.

Ancient Death Scenes: Gorgias on Sleep and His Brother (Aelian, Varia Historiia 2.30)

“When Gorgias of Leontini was at the end of his life and, extremely old, he was over taken by a certain weakness, he stretched out in his bed slipping off to sleep. When one of his attendants who was looking over him asked how he was doing, Gorgias replied “Sleep is now starting to hand me over to his brother.””

Γοργίας ὁ Λεοντῖνος ἐπὶ τέρματι ὢν τοῦ βίου καὶ γεγηρακὼς εὖ μάλα ὑπό τινος ἀσθενείας καταληφθείς, κατ’ ὀλίγον ἐς ὕπνον ὑπολισθάνων ἔκειτο. ἐπεὶ δέ τις αὐτὸν παρῆλθε τῶν ἐπιτηδείων ἐπισκοπούμενος καὶ ἤρετο ὅ τι πράττοι, ὁ Γοργίας ἀπεκρίνατο ‘ἤδη με ὁ ὕπνος ἄρχεται παρακατατίθεσθαι τἀδελφῷ.’

Gorgias of Leontini was an orator who lived nearly one hundred years. In Greek myth, Sleep (Hypnos) and Death (Thanatos) are brothers. Here’s the Euphronios Krater that shows the pair carrying off the mortally wounded Sarpedon.

Euphronios_krater_side_A_MET_L.2006.10

Solon Wanted to Learn Some Sappho as his Final Song (Aelian, fr. 187)

Aelian, Fragment 187/190 (from Stobaeus 3.29.58)

“Solon the Athenian, the son of Eksêkestides, when his nephew sang some song of Sappho at a drinking party, took pleasure in it and asked the young man to teach it to him. When someone asked why he was eager to learn it, he responded: “So, once I learn it, I may die.”

Σόλων ὁ ᾿Αθηναῖος ᾿Εξηκεστίδου παρὰ πότον τοῦ ἀδελφιδοῦ αὐτοῦ μέλος τι Σαπφοῦς ᾄσαντος, ἥσθη τῷ μέλει καὶ προσέταξε τῷ μειρακίῳ διδάξει αὐτόν. ἐρωτήσαντος δέ τινος διὰ ποίαν αἰτίαν τοῦτο σπουδάσειεν, ὃ δὲ ἔφη ‘ἵνα μαθὼν αὐτὸ ἀποθάνω.’

Plato Was a Bad Poet, so He Turned to Philosophy: Aelian, Varia Historia 2.30

“Plato, the son of Ariston, at first pursued poetry and used to write heroic verse. But he soon burned it all because he despised it, since he reckoned that his poetry was far inferior when compared to Homer’s. He then tried tragedy and even completed a tetralogy, and he was about to enter the competition, even to the point of giving the verses to actors. But right before the Dionysia, he went and heard Socrates; and once he was seized by that Siren, he not only withdrew from the competition, but he also gave up the writing of tragedy for good to immerse himself in philosophy.”

Πλάτων ὁ ᾿Αρίστωνος τὰ πρῶτα ἐπὶ ποιητικὴν ὥρμησε, καὶ ἡρωϊκὰ ἔγραφε μέτρα• εἶτα αὐτὰ κατέπρησεν ὑπεριδὼν αὐτῶν, ἐπεὶ τοῖς ῾Ομήρου αὐτὰ ἀντικρίνων ἑώρα κατὰ πολὺ ἡττώμενα. ἐπέθετο οὖν τραγῳδίᾳ, καὶ δὴ καὶ τετραλογίαν εἰργάσατο, καὶ ἔμελλεν ἀγωνιεῖσθαι, δοὺς ἤδη τοῖς ὑποκριταῖς τὰ ποιήματα. πρὸ τῶν Διονυσίων δὲ παρελθὼν ἤκουσε Σωκράτους, καὶ ἅπαξ αἱρεθεὶς ὑπὸ τῆς ἐκείνου σειρῆνος, τοῦ ἀγωνίσματος οὐ μόνον ἀπέστη τότε, ἀλλὰ καὶ τελέως τὸ γράφειν τραγῳδίαν ἀπέρριψε, καὶ ἀπεδύσατο ἐπὶ φιλοσοφίαν.

Happiness Need Not Be Real: Aelian, 4.25 Thrasyllos and Other Peoples Ships

This is story has been rattling around in my head for weeks. I find it extremely affecting:

“Thrasyllos from the deme Aiksône endured an incredible and novel madness. For he left the city and went to the Peiraia and stayed there. He believed that all the ships that sailed in were his and he wrote down their names, checked the list when they left and rejoiced when they returned safely to the harbor again. He spent many years living with this sickness. When his brother returned from Sicily, he took him to a doctor for treatment and he freed him from that sickness. But he often remembered the avocation of his sickness and used to say that he was never as happy as when he took pleasure at the sight of ships that weren’t his returning safely.”

Θράσυλλος ὁ Αἰξωνεὺς παράδοξον καὶ καινὴν ἐνόσησε μανίαν. ἀπολιπὼν γὰρ τὸ ἄστυ καὶ κατελθὼν ἐς τὸν Πειραιᾶ καὶ ἐνταῦθα οἰκῶν τὰ πλοῖα τὰ καταίροντα ἐν αὐτῷ πάντα ἑαυτοῦ ἐνόμιζεν εἶναι, καὶ ἀπεγράφετο αὐτὰ καὶ αὖ πάλιν ἐξέπεμπε καὶ τοῖς περισωζομένοις καὶ ἐσιοῦσιν ἐς τὸν λιμένα ὑπερέχαιρε· χρόνους δὲ διετέλεσε πολλοὺς συνοικῶν τῷ ἀρρωστήματι τούτῳ. ἐκ Σικελίας δὲ ἀναχθεὶς ὁ ἀδελφὸς αὐτοῦ παρέδωκεν αὐτὸν ἰατρῷ ἰάσασθαι, καὶ ἔπαυσεν αὐτὸν τῆς νόσου οὗτος. ἐμέμνητο δὲ πολλάκις τῆς ἐν μανίᾳ διατριβῆς, καὶ ἔλεγε μηδέποτε ἡσθῆναι τοσοῦτον, ὅσον τότε ἥδετο ἐπὶ ταῖς μηδὲν αὐτῷ προσηκούσαις ναυσὶν