Lysippus, fr. 8 (Heraclides, On the Greek City 1.5)

 

“If you haven’t seen Athens, you’re a stump.
If you’ve seen it unamazed, you’re a donkey.
If after being charmed by it you leave, you’re an ass.”

 

εἰ μὴ τεθέασαι τὰς Ἀθήνας, στέλεχος εἶ
εἰ δὲ τεθέασαι μὴ τεθήρευσαι δ᾿, ὄνος,
εἰ δ᾿ εὐαρεστῶν αποτρέχεις, κανθήλιος

Lysippus? A poet of Old Comedy who won a victory around 440 BCE.

Athens Is Like A Prostitute (According to Isocrates): Aelian, 12.52

“The orator Isokrates used to say that the city of Athens was like prostitutes: men who are taken in by the beauty want to have sex with them, but no one is so totally insane that he wants to stay and live with them. In the same way, the Athenian city was a pleasurable place to visit and was quite different from all the other cities in Greece. But it was not a safe place to inhabit any more. In saying this he was indicating all of the flatterers who came from abroad and the various plots of the demagogues.”

᾿Ισοκράτης ὁ ῥήτωρ ἔλεγεν ὑπὲρ τῆς ᾿Αθηναίων πόλεως ὁμοίαν εἶναι ταῖς ἑταίραις. καὶ γὰρ τοὺς ἁλισκομένους ὑπὸ τῆς ὥρας αὐτῶν βούλεσθαι συνεῖναι αὐταῖς, ὅμως δὲ μηδένα εὐτελῶς οὕτω παραφρονεῖν, ὡς ὑπομεῖναι ἂν συνοικῆσαί τινι αὐτῶν. καὶ οὖν καὶ τὴν ᾿Αθηναίων πόλιν ἐνεπιδημῆσαι μὲν εἶναι ἡδίστην, καὶ κατά γε τοῦτο πασῶν τῶν κατὰ τὴν ῾Ελλάδα διαφέρειν· ἐνοικῆσαι δὲ ἀσφαλῆ μηκέτι εἶναι. ᾐνίττετο δὲ διὰ τούτων τοὺς ἐπιχωριάζοντας αὐτῇ συκοφάντας καὶ τὰς ἐκ τῶν δημαγωγούντων ἐπιβουλάς.

And twitter has taught me that this is a common motif:

https://twitter.com/juntakadaveres/status/606139397176721408

Martial, 6.12 and 6.57: A Woman and A Man with Counterfeit Hair

“Fabulla claims as her own the hair she buys!
Hey Paul—wouldn’t you say that she lies?

Iurat capillos esse, quos emit, suos
Fabulla: numquid illa, Paule, peierat

57

“You make fake hair with gel, Pheobus—
Your filthy scalp is covered with drawn-in hair
You don’t need to summon a barber for that head:
A sponge can give you a better shave, Phoebus.”

Mentiris fictos unguento, Phoebe, capillos
et tegitur pictis sordida calua comis.
Tonsorem capiti non est adhibere necesse:
radere te melius spongea, Phoebe, potest.

Archilochus, Fragment 15

 

Glaukos is a dear ally until he starts fighting

 

 

Γλαῦκ’, ἐπίκουρος ἀνὴρ τόσσον φίλος ἔσκε μάχηται,

Hoplites need comrades they can depend upon

 

Archilochus, a master of the ancient art of insults!