As If Monday Weren’t Unfunny Enough: Four Fragments from Theopompos

Theopompos was a minor poet composing in the later years of Attic Old Comedy (c. 410-380?). Here are four of his remaining fragments:

Fr. 16 (Diogenes Laertius 3.26)

“One thing is not even one thing,
And two are scarcely one either, according to Plato.”

ἓν γάρ ἐστιν οὐδὲ ἕν,
τὰ δὲ δύο μόλις ἕν ἐστιν, ὥς φησιν Πλάτων.

Fr. 34

“Euripides didn’t say it badly at all:
The truly happy man dines an another’s expense”

Εὐριπίδου τἄρ’ ἐστὶν οὐ κακῶς ἔχον,
τἀλλότρια δειπνεῖν τὸν καλῶς εὐδαίμονα.

Fr. 60

“Eileithuia has been pardoned by women
For being so tight-lipped about her craft.”

ἀλλ’ ἡ μὲν Εἰλείθυια συγγνώμην ἔχει
ὑπὸ τῶν γυναικῶν οὖσα καταπλὴξ τὴν τέχνην.

[Eileithuia was a goddess of childbirth]

Fr. 65

“Stretching out drinking in the three-couched room,
We took turns singing the songs of Telamon to each other”

κατακείμενοι μαλακώτατ’ ἐπὶ τρικλινίῳ
Τελαμῶνος οἰμώζοντες ἀλλήλοις μέλη.