Half-Assing It: A Love Story

Aristokles, BNJ 831 F 3b (=Stobaios, Florides 4.20 b74)

“In the second book of his Wonders, Aristokles has this: A young man named Aristonymos, an Ephesian of a noble family, was Demostratos’ son, but in reality he was Ares’ son.

In the middle of the night, because he hated all women, he went to his father’s herd and had sex with a female donkey. She got pregnant and gave birth to the most beautiful girl, named Onoskelia, a nickname borrowed from the way she was born.”

᾽Αριστοκλέους ἐν β̄ Παραδόξων. <᾽Αριστώνυμος> ᾽Εφέσιος τῶι γένει, νεανίας τῶν ἐπισήμων, υἱὸς Δημοστράτου, ταῖς δ᾽ ἀληθείαις ῎Αρεως. οὗτος τὸ θῆλυ μισῶν γένος νυκτὸς βαθείας εἰς τοὺς πατρώιας ἔτρεχεν ἀγέλας, καὶ ὄνωι συνεγένετο θηλείαι· ἡ δὲ ἔγκυος γενομένη ἔτεκε κόρην εὐειδεστάτην ᾽Ονοσκελίαν τοὐνομα, τὴν προσηγορίαν λαβοῦσαν ἀπὸ τοῦ συμπτώματος.

Bodleian Library, MS. Bodley 764, Folio 44r

Donkeys and Mares: Tinder for Misogynists

Plutarch, Parallel Stories, 29

“Aristonomos the son of Demostratos hated women and used to have sex with a donkey. After some time, the donkey gave birth to an extremely beautiful girl named Onoskelis. Aristokles reports this in the second book of his Unbelievable Things.

Fulvius Stellus used to have sex with a horse because he hated women. Eventually the horse gave birth to a fine-looking girl and they named her Epona. She is a deity who focuses on horses. This is according to Agesilaus in the third book of his Italian Matters.”

  1. ΑΡΙΣΤΩΝΥΜΟΣ Ἐφέσιος υἱὸς Δημοστράτου ἐμίσει γυναῖκας, ὄνῳ δ᾿ ἐμίσγετο· ἡ δὲ κατὰ χρόνον ἔτεκε κόρην εὐειδεστάτην Ὀνόσκελιν τοὔνομα· ὡς Ἀριστοκλῆς ἐν δευτέρᾳ Παραδόξων.

EΦΟΥΛΟΥΙΟΣ Στέλλος μισῶν γυναῖκας ἵππῳ συνεμίσγετο· ἡ δὲ κατὰ χρόνον ἔτεκε κόρην εὔμορφον καὶ ὠνόμασαν Ἔποναν· ἔστι δὲ θεὸς πρόνοιαν ποιουμένη ἵππων· ὡς Ἀγησίλαος ἐν τρίτῳ Ἰταλικῶν.

Morgan Library, MS M.81, Folio 44r