Four Years of Presidential Memories: Stop the Presses! The Character of an Oligarch

Theophrastus, Characters: Authoritarianism

1. Authoritarianism [oligarchy] would appear to be a certain lust for power that is greedy for strength and profit. An oligarch is the sort who:

2. When the people are debating who should be selected to assist leading a parade, steps right up and declares that absolute control is required. If others propose ten people to do a job, he declares that “one is enough, provided he is a real man”. He can recall only that one Homeric verse—“the rule of many is not good, there should be one ruler’—and he understands nothing of the rest.

3. Don’t miss out that he uses these kinds of statements: “We should get together and deliberate about this on our own and avoid the democrat mob and the assembly. Stop being insulted or honored by them when we hold public offices” or “They should run the state or we should.”

4. In the middle of the day he goes out finely dressed with his hair hanging at mid-length and his fingernails finely done, peacocking around, laying about with words like this:

5. “Thanks to all these whistleblowers, this country is unlivable!” “We are being treated the worst in the courts because of their corruption!” “I can’t imagine what these people pursuing politics even want!” “The people are completely ungrateful—all they want is a handout!” He says he is ashamed in the assembly whenever some skinny person sits next to him.”

Letter (2)
There may be a universe in which this is real

(1) δόξειεν δ᾿ ἂν εἶναι ἡ ὀλιγαρχία φιλαρχία τις ἰσχύος καὶ κέρδους γλιχομένη, ὁ δὲ ὀλιγαρχικὸς τοιοῦτος,

(2) οἷος τοῦ δήμου βουλευομένου, τίνας τῷ ἄρχοντι προσαιρήσονταιτῆς πομπῆς τοὺς συνεπιμελησομένους, παρελθὼν ἀποφήνασθαι ὡς δεῖ αὐτοκράτορας τούτους εἶναι, κἂν ἄλλοι προβάλλωνται δέκα, λέγειν “ἱκανὸς εἷς ἐστι, τοῦτον δὲ” ὅτι “δεῖ ἄνδρα εἶναι·” καὶ τῶν Ὁμήρου ἐπῶν τοῦτο ἓν μόνον κατέχειν, ὅτι “οὐκ ἀγαθὸν πολυκοιρανίη, εἷς κοίρανος ἔστω,” τῶν δὲ ἄλλων μηδὲν ἐπίστασθαι·

(3) ἀμέλει δὲ δεινὸς τοῖς τοιούτοις τῶν λόγων χρήσασθαι, ὅτι “δεῖ αὐτοὺς ἡμᾶς συνελθόντας περὶ τούτων βουλεύσασθαι, καὶ ἐκ τοῦ ὄχλου καὶ τῆς ἀγορᾶς ἀπαλλαγῆναι, καὶ παύσασθαι ἀρχαῖς πλησιάζοντας καὶ ὑπὸ τούτων οὕτως ὑβριζομένους ἢ τιμωμένους,” <καὶ> ὅτι “ἢ τούτους δεῖ ἢ ἡμᾶς οἰκεῖν τὴν πόλιν.”

(4) καὶ τὸ μέσον δὲ τῆς ἡμέρας ἐξιὼν καὶ τὸ ἱμάτιον ἀναβεβλημένος καὶ μέσην κουρὰν κεκαρμένος καὶ ἀκριβῶς ἀπωνυχισμένος σοβεῖν τοὺς τοιούτους λόγους τραγῳδῶν·

(5) “διὰ τοὺς συκοφάντας οὐκ οἰκητόν ἐστιν ἐν τῇ πόλει,” καὶ ὡς “ἐν τοῖς δικαστηρίοις δεινὰ πάσχομεν ὑπὸ τῶν δεκαζομένων,” καὶ ὡς “θαυμάζω τῶν πρὸς τὰ κοινὰ προσιόντων τί βούλονται,” καὶ ὡς “ἀχάριστόν ἐστι <τὸ πλῆθος καὶ ἀεὶ>τοῦ νέμοντος καὶ διδόντος,” καὶ ὡς αἰσχύνεται ἐν τῇ ἐκκλησίᾳ, ὅταν παρακάθηταί τις αὐτῷ λεπτὸς

arrogant finger

Stop the Presses! The Character of an Oligarch

Theophrastus, Characters: Authoritarianism

1. Authoritarianism [oligarchy] would appear to be a certain lust for power that is greedy for power and profit. An oligarch is the sort who:

2. When the people are debating who should be selected to assist leading a parade, steps right up and declares that absolute control is required. If others propose ten people to do a job, he declares that “one is enough, provided he is a real man”. He can recall only that one Homeric verse—“the rule of many is not good, there should be one ruler’—and he understands nothing of the rest.

3. Don’t miss out that he uses these kinds of statements: “We should get together and deliberate about this on our own and avoid the democrat mob and the assembly. Stop being insulted or honored by them when we hold public offices” or “They should run the state or we should.”

4. In the middle of the day he goes out finely dressed with his hair hanging at mid-length and his fingernails finely done, peacocking around, laying about with words like this:

5. “Thanks to all these whistleblowers, this country is unlivable!” “We are being treated the worst in the courts because of their corruption!” “I can’t imagine what these people pursuing politics even want!” “The people are completely ungrateful—all they want is a handout!” He says he is ashamed in the assembly whenever some skinny person sits next to him.”

Letter (2)
There may be a universe in which this is real

(1) δόξειεν δ᾿ ἂν εἶναι ἡ ὀλιγαρχία φιλαρχία τις ἰσχύος καὶ κέρδους γλιχομένη, ὁ δὲ ὀλιγαρχικὸς τοιοῦτος,

(2) οἷος τοῦ δήμου βουλευομένου, τίνας τῷ ἄρχοντι προσαιρήσονταιτῆς πομπῆς τοὺς συνεπιμελησομένους, παρελθὼν ἀποφήνασθαι ὡς δεῖ αὐτοκράτορας τούτους εἶναι, κἂν ἄλλοι προβάλλωνται δέκα, λέγειν “ἱκανὸς εἷς ἐστι, τοῦτον δὲ” ὅτι “δεῖ ἄνδρα εἶναι·” καὶ τῶν Ὁμήρου ἐπῶν τοῦτο ἓν μόνον κατέχειν, ὅτι “οὐκ ἀγαθὸν πολυκοιρανίη, εἷς κοίρανος ἔστω,” τῶν δὲ ἄλλων μηδὲν ἐπίστασθαι·

(3) ἀμέλει δὲ δεινὸς τοῖς τοιούτοις τῶν λόγων χρήσασθαι, ὅτι “δεῖ αὐτοὺς ἡμᾶς συνελθόντας περὶ τούτων βουλεύσασθαι, καὶ ἐκ τοῦ ὄχλου καὶ τῆς ἀγορᾶς ἀπαλλαγῆναι, καὶ παύσασθαι ἀρχαῖς πλησιάζοντας καὶ ὑπὸ τούτων οὕτως ὑβριζομένους ἢ τιμωμένους,” <καὶ> ὅτι “ἢ τούτους δεῖ ἢ ἡμᾶς οἰκεῖν τὴν πόλιν.”

(4) καὶ τὸ μέσον δὲ τῆς ἡμέρας ἐξιὼν καὶ τὸ ἱμάτιον ἀναβεβλημένος καὶ μέσην κουρὰν κεκαρμένος καὶ ἀκριβῶς ἀπωνυχισμένος σοβεῖν τοὺς τοιούτους λόγους τραγῳδῶν·

(5) “διὰ τοὺς συκοφάντας οὐκ οἰκητόν ἐστιν ἐν τῇ πόλει,” καὶ ὡς “ἐν τοῖς δικαστηρίοις δεινὰ πάσχομεν ὑπὸ τῶν δεκαζομένων,” καὶ ὡς “θαυμάζω τῶν πρὸς τὰ κοινὰ προσιόντων τί βούλονται,” καὶ ὡς “ἀχάριστόν ἐστι <τὸ πλῆθος καὶ ἀεὶ>τοῦ νέμοντος καὶ διδόντος,” καὶ ὡς αἰσχύνεται ἐν τῇ ἐκκλησίᾳ, ὅταν παρακάθηταί τις αὐτῷ λεπτὸς

arrogant finger